Here in the US it's unusual to find adults living at home

[dancerboy]

Here in the US children tend to move from their parents home when they finish high school (usually age 18), or as soon as possible. But i notice in the WI community our children tend to stay home longer. Are children in T&T flying the coop at an early age also, if not what is the average age for 'junior' to flap his wings ?


DANCERBOY

[Babygirl]

Most people probably leave when they get married.

[Solachica]

Its not just a West Indian thing.
Its Indian, Greek and am sure others can add to it.

My parents didn't have any issue with me being in their house and for economic purposes and safety and comfort reasons I didn't mind staying.

Its maybe 15 yrs or so tht I've noticed the break up of the extended family within my own family.

[Solachica]

Most people probably leave when they get married.

Yea.

Guess it happens becos of cultures.

My 12 year old cousin in Canada can't wait to turn 18 and move out. He father also told her tht to.

[dancerboy]

Its not just a West Indian thing.
Its Indian, Greek and am sure others can add to it.

My parents didn't have any issue with me being in their house and for economic purposes and safety and comfort reasons I didn't mind staying.

Its maybe 15 yrs or so tht I've noticed the break up of the extended family within my own family.

SOLA my dear, it probably happens in every other country in the world. But, i do not concern myself with other countries, (unless it's germane to the topic) i am concerned with TRINIDAD, because i have brothers,sisters, and lots of neices and nephews there. THE US because my children and grand children live here, and also BARBADOS, because i have relatives there. Not that i do not care about what happens in other parts of the world, it's just that i do not think i should use other peoples' standards to measure mine. I raised my children in NY where it's forbidden by law to spank your child, and lots of my neighbors didn't spank their children, but that didn't stop me from spanking mine. I raised my children by my standards, not other peoples. So i do not subscribe to "well it's happening all over the world". Teenagers the world over are using drugs, dropping out of school, and getting pregnant. So god forbid my teenage granddaughter gets pregnant, am i supposed to comfort her by telling her it's happening all over the world ? That's a cop out. SOLA my dear, no hard feelings, but it hurts me deeply when i visit my TRINI friends, and they children ruling them, and giving them thunder. SOLA my dear, what inspired this thread, is the cost of living thread. Because i said to myself, youngsters in TRINIDAD remain at home at an older age than their US counterparts. Therefore, if they left home at a similar age it would be more economically disatrous for them. This thread is not to cast aspersions on the youths of TRINIDAD. And SOLA some of us stayed home longer for different reasons. My big brother stayed home at a later age so he could send me to osmond high school, and for that i will be eternally gratefull. SOLA my dear, people have to understand that our systems here in the US is quite different from TRINIDAD'S, and any other countries, and people do things differently, and for different reasons. SOLA my dear i might criticize T&T, BUT I AM VERY VERY PROUD OF MY TRINIDAD UPBRINGING. It ranked among the best in the world.


DANCERBOY

[Solachica]

Ok

I stayed at home and my parents encouraged it becos in my family people didn't move out and go live on their own until they were married.
And on my mothers side when my uncles got married they stayed at my grandfathers house a couple of years until they built their own house and moved out.

At my maternal grandfathers house there are still uncles and a aunt living there. All unmarried. But no taking advantage of the ole people there.

The only time I lived away from my home before now is when I went to school. Two yrs after secondary school and 1.5 yrs near uwi.
At uwi I was paying $1000 and then $1200 in rent and as you can see tht wud have added up to a lot when I included food etc.and I was also working so had to not stay at the apt at times. Now I drive to and from uwi.

I remember when I had now started working a man asked a gurl who had started with me if she was living at her parents house still. She simply replied yes, I would not move out until I am married.

[dancerboy]

Ok

I stayed at home and my parents encouraged it becos in my family people didn't move out and go live on their own until they were married.
And on my mothers side when my uncles got married they stayed at my grandfathers house a couple of years until they built their own house and moved out.

At my maternal grandfathers house there are still uncles and a aunt living there. All unmarried. But no taking advantage of the ole people there.

The only time I lived away from my home before now is when I went to school. Two yrs after secondary school and 1.5 yrs near uwi.
At uwi I was paying $1000 and then $1200 in rent and as you can see tht wud have added up to a lot when I included food etc.and I was also working so had to not stay at the apt at times. Now I drive to and from uwi.

I remember when I had now started working a man asked a gurl who had started with me if she was living at her parents house still. She simply replied yes, I would not move out until I am married.

Thanks very much for this post SOLA. It puts things in a different light. Because i know from experience, lots of our children in out time particularly, stayed home so as to help our parents or other siblings. Unfortunately, today lots of children stay home to help themselves, and to hell with the others. In my own case, when my daughter returned from college, she just moved back in her apartment in the attic. She paid a small fee for that. I renovated the basement and my son lived there until he was married. He Then bought his first home, and my daughter bought a home also when she moved out. We (children and i) benefitted from each other's living arrangement. They could easily have gone else where and paid a rent,of course it would have cost them a lot more. So i wholeheartedly agree with children staying at home, if it's for the right reason. At one time my son had a suv, a sprts car, and a motorcycle. He could not acquire all ah dat if he had to pay the going price for rent. And it also helped me to take trips,and prepare for my retirement,the fruits (pun intended, oranges in FLORIDA) of which i am now beginnig to relish(even though i do not eat hotdogs).

DANCERBOY

[Babygirl]

Just to show how the cultures are different, my dad might have killed me if I lived on my own and I had my husband (then boyfriend) coming over to visit. My dad would say, "What people would think when they see a fella comin by yuh all de time and you alone livin dey?"

What we could do all alone in a house? Oooooooo.... :roll:

I'm sure society is not as harsh with such things as long ago but there are still people who like to slander a young woman's character any chance they get.

[lexbarker]

With the recession getting deeper you will see those adult chirren moving back to mama. And those already at home ent leaving at all.

[Mivo]

My son has a house one house from mines, the girls eh leaving an going until they get married
they love living at home

[sapodila]

I too have notice that children in the US are moving back home from colleges and occupying their parents basements. They call it their dens! I have Nepali friends with adult sons who are moving back home with Mom and Dad and helping with house hold expenses too! Those children are to be commend for helping out now that they bringing in more money than their parents ever will. They claim that they will find a house once they find the rite woman to marry. Meanwhile, they enjoy the company at home with the folks. I have friends of African American origins whose children are also moving back home after college. They claim it's way to expensive to live on their own after college. Hey! I don't see a problem as long as every one pulls his/her own weight around the house..... if milk runs out... head to the store. Don't wait for Mom or Dad and dough too!

[Sirius]

I live willingly with my parents until the day I get married, and they would not want me to move out until I get married either. As far as my family is concerned, I have a better home than I would afford on my own, I have more security, more convenience, and I would not be alone. I would wish the same on any future children I may have. They would be most welcome to live with me at home until the day they are ready to start their own families.

Maybe it's a culture thing, but why pelt your children out to ketch?

[Babygirl]

Maybe it's a culture thing, but why pelt your children out to ketch?

I totally agree. If children reach maturity and want to move out, it is their choice. However, I think most parents here think, this is the home in which I nurtured my child and saw him/her gorw up in...why send him/her away?

Plus, when we consider the crime now, it is really unsafe to be living by yourself.

[cocoa]

GEE ME LIBERTY OR GEE ME DEBT. :mrgreen:

[Scorpio]

I never had the luxury of living home with my parents as an adult, so the concept is strange to me.

[bluenote492000]

I remember telling my mom from early that I want to live on my own and I cannot see myself moving from my mom’s house to hubby’s house. I’m sorry, I have a pretty strong independent streak so I want to see whether or not I can survive and thrive in this big bad world. Its been a little over three years and I’m so glad to have my own space, sure I still live on the same block as my mom and Lord knows I don’t give a flying fig about what the neighbours think when my bf comes over. Personally, I recommend living on your own before marriage to anyone. There is a certain amount of satisfaction in knowing you can walk into your own place and drop your clothes and shoes wherever you wish without anyone telling you to pick it up . Oh yeah and being able to paint my walls purple and green :: I know it sounds strange but trust me those colours really rock!

[Solachica]

An uncle of mine has a room tht is purple and green ::

I guess different people want different things. Or have different goals.

[dancerboy]

An uncle of mine has a room tht is purple and green ::

I guess different people want different things. Or have different goals.

May be she is shacking up wid yuh uncle. Yuh better go visit him unannounced.

DANCERBOY

[rocket]

Its called a lack of ambition. Trini parents want to baby their kids. Most of them might as well keep their kids in diapers. The kids have no ambition because mommy is washing my clothes and wiping my ass...so why should I leave. However when the get married and move out(if that happens) they get hit with reality. Especially the ones that go abroad to live. Its a hell of a thing, they have to grow up in a hurry and mommy and daddy are not there to change their diapers. But I blame the parents as well..they need a kick in their ass........

[kemist]

well in my case its kinda the opposite. i didnt move out, my mom did
my dad passed away when i was young, my mom remarried when i was 18 yrs and moved out to go live with my stepfather, but i opted to stay (in her house). I must say tho i wouldn't have been able to live on my own if i had to pay rent; it was hard enough putting myself through school and paying the bills on a part-time min wage job.
I think economics is the big difference between trinidad and the us/canada when it comes to people leaving the nest.

[greall]

I always wanted to move out and did that this year fully:I'm in Bel Air and my parents are in Moruga.My mom calls every day and has been taught how to send text messages by my niece... ::

I loved the idea of living by myself for a while but then I'd come home after work and hear my thoughts echo in the house and it got to me after a while.

Greg

[kayt]

I moved out at the age of 19. My brother was driving me crazy and since we were no longer in TnT it was easy to find an option available to a young person who hadn't started working properly without relying on family friends for help. I went into a hostel at first then shared a flat with peers before living on soley on my own. If I'd stayed in the family home in TnT I'd just be moving out now or I'd have been with family friends with as little as bed space if they didn't have a room available. I don't think I am the type to marry an older man just for the sake of leaving the family home. I'd been brought up to believe that the only options were to stay with family or to buy property, renting was an alien concept. When my mother was not in TnT she live on her own or shared with flatmates before meeting my father. When we returned to TnT it was back to her mother's house until she could afford to buy her own or strike a deal with other family members who had vacant property. She found it easier to buy her own than deal with the family. I was 12 when we moved to her house.

It is possible to live with parents and not be babied. I know of people who have to pay rent once they are working. Its usually a lot lower than they would pay going elsewhere.

[Jenny]

I left home when I was 21, and finding myself along the way was the best move I ever made. And although I love when my parents visit me, I do love my independence and being able to do things my way.

Then I know another extreme, a girl I went to uni with lived at home while at uni, then moved up north to work in the same city as I am now. I recently was catching up with her only to find out her mom cooks her meals, freezes them and sends them up with her dad once a week. Imagine a big 25 year old, living on her own and her mother does her cooking and she visits home every two weeks for her mom to do her laundry! To each his own oui...

[Aloha]

In the West Indies the age is 21 years old, to be condsidered a responsible adult, after
that 21st birthday party, then it's up to the individual on deciding what they want or
need to do in reference to moving out to their own place, and accepting responsibility
if they are gainfully employed, and it's OK with most families who see their children as
adults at that age, having said that! it's also OK to return home if it is required to do so.
There is no rule on that, that I know of. :roll:

[mammadon]

Here in the US children tend to move from their parents home when they finish high school (usually age 18), or as soon as possible. But i notice in the WI community our children tend to stay home longer. Are children in T&T flying the coop at an early age also, if not what is the average age for 'junior' to flap his wings ?


DANCERBOY

I know people in their late twenties and early thirties who still live at home.

I guess it's just cultural relativism.