WILL YOU RAT ON YOU DAUGHTER OR SON, OR SON-IN-LAW, OR DAUG

[dancerboy]

If you saw your daughter-in-law, or your son-in-law cheating on his or her spouse, would you tell your daughter or son. And if the situation were reverse would you tell you son-in-law or daughter-in-law. This is not a hypothetical question.

[peanut]

No, I won't! However I will have a talk with the son/daughter or the in Law and let he/she know that I know.

[Scorpio]

If you saw your daughter-in-law, or your son-in-law cheating on his or her spouse, would you tell your daughter or son. And if the situation were reverse would you tell you son-in-law or daughter-in-law. This is not a hypothetical question.


I would stay out of it because things aren't always the way they seem. Unless you walked in on them in the middle of sex.

[serenity]

No, I won't! However I will have a talk with the son/daughter or the in Law and let he/she know that I know.


I'd like to think that this would be my response too. There's always the cameraphone to assist that conversation along.

[vaio]

i wld have a chat with the person who is doing the cheating.....let them know that i am aware of it and take it from there..

[SSDD]

yes i would in this day of aids and all other stds it's too much of a price to stay quiet

[Scorpio]

This is a good topic, and it shows how quickly people are willing to get involved in other ppl's business, relative or not, and I've been burned by this in the past, where farse Trini ppl jumped to the completely wrong conclusions and screwed up what was a good relationship for me.

So once again, I say, it might be a good idea to MYOB and stay to Fruck outta it unless you were unfortunate enough to walk in on the offending parties in the middle of a torrid sex session. :evil:

[SSDD]

well of course you gonna use common sense sometimes when someone cheating on their bf,gf, so or spouse it is damn well obvious ESPECIALLY when you talk to the person being cheated on.
and i speak as someone who has been cheated on AND seen other get cheated on and see ppl do that same sh*t
i really sorry that your relationship got messed up because someone misread what they saw but it not always so.

[KFCSpicy]

Common sense is very rare SSDD. Most people are yet to attain it in some form or another.

That said...until I am in the situation I will know what I will do. Can't say hypothetically at the moment as nothing is ever BLack or White and cut and dried.

[sapodila]

hummmmm! interesting! I wonder what I would do :? I do like to put people to sit down and converse! :idea: Maybe that's what I will have to do! I pray... Lord.... Please don't ever make me have to succumb to those situations with my love ones, lead them away from temptations, may they always be loyal to their spouses....I thank you Lord! Amen!

[sheppy]

well in the case of your child being potentially cheated on...i think as a parent doing nothing (practical or not) will be very hard. But I would go straight to the apparent offending party an address it with them, so they have a chance to exaplin and give them an ultimatum to tell my child what is going on before I do.

[KFCSpicy]

I remember years ago when I went to my dad to tell him that my best friends bf was cheating on her and he did it glaringly openly in front of our eyes but lied to her about it cause he knew she would not believe us over him (he was kinda right...she just didn't care in the end she chose she man and decided to pretend she eh know he horning she :roll: ). I asked my dad all young and flustered and filled with righteous indignation...should I not go and tell her. My father (lord bless he soul) said..dat is not yuh business. Stay out of man and woman thing cause yuh best intentions does fall to the way side and is u does get cuss by both parties whilst they go still love up each other. Man and woman will always have that cross to bear he said, it is not your place to right no wrongs.

Of course I disregarded him....gee what did he know? right? :roll:

Well she proper well cuss meh tail and ask meh why i did allow she to believe he was not horning she...then a few days later was loved up with said man and watching me bard eye. Sighhhhhhh! This was the 3rd time I had to go through this wid her and men. Glutton for punishment she was. First time I told her that her Brigo looking grandpa man was tracking meh and begging meh to go out wid him she was all hot to dump him and cuss him. Next day is cold shoulder from she. When I asked why she say how he tell she how I lied to her and is dat I wanted him and was running him down and she needs to stop thinking I was she friend :roll:

She made her choice yet again. She stopped talk to meh for a year. Then about 5 years later she confessed how much bad treatment he put her thru wid other women. Lesson learnt...stay out. But I guess if it is a family member yuh does want to protect them or chastise them. :(

[SSDD]

yea but kfc you ever been on the side of the fence when you realise that somebody close to you damn well knew what was going on and never said so? the first question they does ask is if you knew why yuh never say anthingy. damned if you damned if you don't. but when you do say something i always say how they react and what they do after that is on them. they would always be able to look back and say that at least that person tried to warn them no matter how hurt or how much denial they went into. they ignored it when someone tried.

all of my friends have learnt that if they do fall into that rubbish is to stay far from when they doing it because i cannot stand ppl being unfaithful if yuh not happy then frigging leave the relationship. matter of fact none of my friends ever do that. those who did end up doing it was cut one time.

[KFCSpicy]

:o a bit harsh SSDD. But I was acting on her prior judgements on said situations so hence my reluctance to tell she. Plus...she in a party wid we one carnival sunday night...he bounce een not knowing she wud have been there as he tell she he eh taking she no way...with another woman and then hear she after about an hour of stalking him very angrily...I going over dey and tell he off. All ah we was like :roll: after about 5 mins she came back looking triumphant as if she realllllll handle she biz. steupse.

De girl come back and saying smugly how she went over dey and stand up next to him and let de other woman know dat she was boss. So we say what u tell him. She was like...I asked him what he doing here wid she and he said he didnt come wid she is he pardnah oman. But he failed to realise dat we had observed him almost an hour before she went over so we saw him winin wid de oman plenty plenty and whispering sweet nothings to she.

so we was like and? she say well nothing he just stand up dey. De man never even buy she a drink or ask she how she getting home. She spend 11 years wid dis lil boy eh. Mind u is i who introduce them eh. :oops:

So if she eh want to leave who is me to make she?

[vaio]

@ SSDD...i like your points...i wld like someone who i feel close to me to tell me...if they know....

also...if they unhappy...then damn well leave the relationship and go.....

[Mivo]

It's a tough situation for both sides! something to think about though

[KFCSpicy]

^^^yep.

[SSDD]

that's a sad situ your friend in there kfc one can only hope she'll realize she deserves alot more than that. if was me, that night of the party was fullstop yes. i wouldna approach neither of them he woulda just see me having a good time with a next man and get the point from there.

[dancerboy]

This issue came about with one of my son's lady friend before he was married. I met her down town BKLYN. She said to him i saw dad yesterday. He asked me "how come ah didn't tell him". Ah tell him da eh none ah my business, because if ah did see he wid ah nudder woman,(or a man)ah wasn't going an tell she. So dat how this issue came about. But three years ago i saw my five-year old grandaughter's father in miami carnival with he woman (when u c a man and ah woman 9 out ah 10 times u cud tell if dey in ting). Ah tell de fool "I ENT C U, AND U ENT C ME". The damn fool went and tell meh daughter he see me. But she knows me, so she tell him i will never say anything, but like he didn't believe her. I tell my children if de go down de road and dey see my wife with a man (or a woman) ah doh want to know. So we have dis agreement among us. Ah doh c dey woman or man, and dey do c dey stepmother. GOD forbid dey tell me and ah cah handle it and ah do something insane. Or i tell dem and dey cah handle it and dey do something insane. Then ah go never be able to live wid mehself again. u never cud tell wha horn will make a man or woman do. Especially when he always telling u how u getting fat, and de oman he wid, not only fatter than u, bet she plenty uglier than u 2. Ah going and walk ah go come back later tonite eh. Always remember " MEN THINK LOVE IS SEX, WOMEN THINK SEX IS LOVE. DANCERBOY.

[KFCSpicy]

^^^wow :shock:

[serenity]

Wow indeed Dancerboy.
Havent thought about that aspect of it - the rash consequences of telling the person.
I also find it intriguing that u dont want to know. Realistically, I've always thought that I didnt want to know either - provided it was a one-time thing with a stranger and one which is truly regretted.

But its hard to say really. I mean, u want to know the person u're with. And u could spare me the heartbreak and trauma once u know it will NEVER happen again. Bec u could be perfect in every other way except for that one lapse in judgement and I'd have to leave u bec I cant deal with it. And then we both lose.

I dont know...Do I want to know? I know I'd definitely want to know if u openly liming with the woman all over the place and its an ongoing relationship.