Should men maintain...

[KFCSpicy]

Their respect for women regardless of all the negative names and stereotypes out there?

I mean take for instance a comment made to me (incorrectly so) about me having in my avatar that I am a bitch yet I doh want to be called one by nobody yet still wanting to maintain my modern woman standards.

Now first of all my avatar never say I am a bitch for those of poor sight go read it again. Second of all even if I have I am a biotch on my name that doh give someone who don't know me from Eve to call me one. He was farse and outtah place to do so.

Meanwhile these same men does forget that they are all born of mothers and have aunts and grand mothers. So my question is...given all the negativity in music and on tv with the way men see women and how women portray themselves..do you think it is considered "appropriate or even forward thinking" of any man to refer to a woman in a derogatory way or with disrespectful terms?

[Falcon]

they don't all have aunts, so ketch yuhself! 8-)

NO.
It is never right to refer DIRECTLY to a woman in a derogratory term.

BUT
and I will annoy the pro-rap/pro-Machel antics brigade here: when women constantly degrade themselves, they erode the walls that you are seeking to affirm in this thread. When men see you having 'less respect for yourself' over time, they will try to operate within those boundaries that they percieve you have. It might very well be an incorrect perception, but it was concieved by the woman's actions.

Having said that, your avatar should not elicit such a reaction and isnt comparable to the situations I have referenced above.

[KFCSpicy]

always the gentleman Falcon. Thank you! ;)

[kayt]

I don't think anyone should refer to a man or a woman in a derogatory way just for the sake of it. Neither a man or woman has the right to be seen as good, untouchable when they put others down. If you're slagging off someone be prepared to take some verbal abuse yourself. If someone has a problem with a particular man/woman then it is that particular person they may rant about. It does not make every man/woman a target for you anger/dislike/fear/loathing.

[KFCSpicy]

Some people think because of the way you, as a woman, asserts yourself then your are either being overly difficult thereby bitchy. Some people maintain standards that if you go certain places for entertainment then you are a woman of loose morals, or even wearing an anklet or getting a tattoo or even wearing too much jewellery... people does label yuh a hooker and a purveyor of penis lots.

I think at times it's just a way for others to separate themselves from a certain class of people and I think it is also an issue that had been passed down from generation to generation. I just doh like it and tired of having to do battle with some people about what they perceive to be me because of how I may style my hair or what colour lipstick I must have chosen to put on that morning.

This is not even just a trini thing but a universal thing too.

[Solachica]

Only the dog tht man married we can call a bitch oui.:lol:

People shud generally have respect for each other.

[SSDD]

yes thery should cause while tv likes to make it seem the behaviour portrayed in videos etc as the norm it is not.

[bunta]

a woman will get the respect they deserve from me, if she deserves none, she'll get none. Its not a carte blanche thing


Meanwhile these same men does forget that they are all born of mothers and have aunts and grand mothers
err btw, men are also born of fathers, and have uncles and grandfathers... what's the point?

[serenity]

Their respect for women regardless of all the negative names and stereotypes out there?


Of course!

But its entirely another thing to ask anybody to respect someone solely on the basis that they happen to be female. The ideal is that there be a measure of decorum that would allow for persons to be civil to each other regardless of how one thinks of them. But there are a lot of ppl out there, both men and women who would use certain terms to address u to your face bec they pride themselves on 'talking dey mind'. And therefore if they perceive Jane to be a biatch, then they are quite comfortable addressing Jane as such. In those cases, how the media portrays women have little influence how they might feel about Jane. Jane's behaviour or appearance might be the most influential factor at that point.

[Huma]

But its entirely another thing to ask anybody to respect someone solely on the basis that they happen to be female.

Exactly.

I respect yuh when I meet yuh, and yuh actions thereafter will determine whether yuh lose that respect or gain more.

On a somewhat semantic note, people who call themselves bitch and ngger really shouldn't be too angry when others call them that. Context is crucial, but self-identification is a hell of a thing.

[lexbarker]

Respect is something that you earn. KFC, I am shortsighted and half blind so I cannot read the small letters in your avatar, if there are any.

[Solachica]

But if you meeting someone for the very 1st time you don't have any respect for them? or it's nothing until they earn something?
But becos I don't respect you doesnt mean I would be rude to you. Thts not me....I wud quicker ignore you than disrespect in some other way. :geek:

[lexbarker]

I would not disrespect someone when I meet them for the first time. I would look at the character and if the person is kind, helpful, well mannered etc. I in turn would show some respect. But if foul mouthed, evasive, bad talking, boasting, etc ... well, that is another story.

[lexbarker]

First impressions count. A person on seeing KFC's avatar (I'm a Bitch) already begins to have an opinion on her even though the smaller letters may say otherwise. It's like saying, "You will observe that I am a good person when you first slove this jig saw puzzle."

[KFCSpicy]

Small minds will always see the worse things in people. People choose to judge you for the worse before giving u a good result. They enjoy it more makes them feel special or somewhat near perfect.

I honestly don't expect to be treated with defferential treatment simply because I am a woman...that is not even the issue here I DEMAND respect because I am human and it's my right until I decide that I want none of it.

As for men being born of women and also men...sigh! Small talk as usual the thread is discussing menz treatment of women and not menz treatment of people in general so I am not going to bring in the obvious that men also come from the assistance of a sperm donator.

If my Avatar said Angel and Sweetest Girl on de block all yuh still would have acted and responded to most of my comments in the same manner. So doh blame my avatar. My avatar is in plain english and not ancient Sanscript laid into a Da Vinci Code. It says what it says and means exactly that...I fail to see how that indicates that I am calling myself a bitch or otherwise. As I said most of you on here dont know the meaning of respect for either gender and as usual is always a "not me but you" mentality that goes around. "Is not all yuh lack of respect for people is people lack of respect for themselves and their avatars that make me disrespect them". It is never you it's always them kinda people so right?. sigh!

I am not on here to change nobody's views I am here to do me, like it or not cause it have lots of all yuh on here that so flawed and not seeing it that it is scary and somewhat refreshing to that I don't ever have to deal with you all on any level but virtual. I am also not on this forum for a popularity contest I leave that to the rest.

Backward ever I always say. But then again...saying that is deemed rude so I must not speak my mind and offend the sensitivity of anyone more than I can for fear of them falling to pieces and going on the attack.

Please keep the comments coming I am intrigued to learn the mindset of the masses on every issue from small to big.

[lexbarker]

Like I said, respect earned is respect deserved. To demand respect from someone is disrespectful. It is easier to earn respect than to DEMAND it. You have called us “Small minds” in addition of giving us your psychoanalysis of thinking of what we are, shall we respect you for this? Remember, we are not as intelligent as you are. You have written a whole half page trying to explain yourself but I am so sorry to say that it does not say much to earn your respect. You need to grow more.

[Solachica]

Wht if someone says I don't care wht you think of me? :?
For me personally, I don't demand respect. I've learnt tht by being humble and respecting people and being straightforward, you gain respect and alot of times earn it. I have a staff of all men who are twice my age and some who retired recently were even older than my parents .....I gained their trust and respect by listening to them, respecting them and treating them how I would like to be treated. I asked them to stop calling me bosss becos we are all working together toward a common goal and I know without them I would not achieve tht. :geek:

[KFCSpicy]

Where did I call you a small minded person lex? If that shoe fit and your rushed to grab it up and wear it then by all means do so. You see you all see what you want to see and once again love a drama and to carry around chips on your shoulders. My (half page) bothered you I guess...another right I should deem a no no now so let me keep it short.

I don't sykoh anyalyse I speak from experiences...mine! I speak because I can as I am surrounded by people on a daily basis and just like you...I think I am in a position to ascertain what is what...to me. So it's ok for you to hold certain opinions but once they are not held by anyone else this person is not worthy of your respect?

Sola - Being humble is and should not be a prelude to getting respect. I am a great admirer and respecter of personal space as I don't like to be intruded on in the smallest manner. But you all can hold that approach if it works for you and you all are empowered by it. I am not you nor do I intend to be like anyone else who is.

When I am in an all male environment at work and I am their senior after being one of the boys it's a whole level of drama...this I have learnt. Age don't always bring reason and most men don't automatically respect you so immediately I assert myself and balance being a colleague and a woman too. When I became senior to these men most fell into play some grudgingly some without thought but there was always that few that refused to acknowledge that I am in a senior position and thereby their attitude should be modified towards me on certain levels all because I was a woman and they don't like taking any talk from our gender.

I won't die if you don't respect me and I surely won't go home at night and curl up in a foetal ball and cry that you do or don't it's immaterial to me what your opinions are but it is important that when I do engage in any form of conversation with anyone that they speak to me properly...This does not translate to agreeing with me at all just mind your p's and q's and if this cannot be done then walk on by.

It aint that serious folks let it go some of you. :roll:

[Solachica]

True it have some men who can't work with women. I had a man say he's not going to work with me and have a woman be his boss. Guess in his home life he's all bad attitude to becos I know his wife and daughter and how he treats them.

I am a humble person in general so its not tht I do it to gain respect. I am not agressive, bossy or pushy and I guess sometimes tht works against me.

But everyone have their own way and am not one to say one is better than the other. As long as they happy thts all tht really matters in the end becos nobody but you looking out for you.

[BW]

Small minds will always see the worse things in people. People choose to judge you for the worse before giving u a good result. They enjoy it more makes them feel special or somewhat near perfect.

I honestly don't expect to be treated with defferential treatment simply because I am a woman...that is not even the issue here I DEMAND respect because I am human and it's my right until I decide that I want none of it.

As for men being born of women and also men...sigh! Small talk as usual the thread is discussing menz treatment of women and not menz treatment of people in general so I am not going to bring in the obvious that men also come from the assistance of a sperm donator.

If my Avatar said Angel and Sweetest Girl on de block all yuh still would have acted and responded to most of my comments in the same manner. So doh blame my avatar. My avatar is in plain english and not ancient Sanscript laid into a Da Vinci Code. It says what it says and means exactly that...I fail to see how that indicates that I am calling myself a bitch or otherwise. As I said most of you on here dont know the meaning of respect for either gender and as usual is always a "not me but you" mentality that goes around. "Is not all yuh lack of respect for people is people lack of respect for themselves and their avatars that make me disrespect them". It is never you it's always them kinda people so right?. sigh!

I am not on here to change nobody's views I am here to do me, like it or not cause it have lots of all yuh on here that so flawed and not seeing it that it is scary and somewhat refreshing to that I don't ever have to deal with you all on any level but virtual. I am also not on this forum for a popularity contest I leave that to the rest.

Backward ever I always say. But then again...saying that is deemed rude so I must not speak my mind and offend the sensitivity of anyone more than I can for fear of them falling to pieces and going on the attack.

Please keep the comments coming I am intrigued to learn the mindset of the masses on every issue from small to big.

Well, since you asked for comments...

You sound like a very assertive woman, and just being honest, that scares me a little. That might not be the most politically correct statement I've ever made, but it's the truth.

I can deal with assertive men just fine. It's perfectly acceptable for me to treat them just as they treat me. However, with women, I've been conditioned to act differently (open doors for them, let them go ahead of me, etc). That's the traditional role for men and women, and that's how I was trained growing up.

Now, when women come up to me and say things like they DEMAND RESPECT, I don't know how to respond to that. It's like I'm already extending good graces, and I get repaid with more attitude and more demands. I get the impression that they feel more entitled than they are, and being honest, that makes me think of the 'B' word.

Again, not the most politically correct thing to say, but if you are looking for an explanation, there you go.

I give respect to everyone, no matter who they are or what they do. You never know when you'll need to depend on someone, so it's a good idea to keep enemies at a minimum. Besides that, I don't really see any reason to get upset when people act "disrespectful" (other than in extreme circumstances). As the old saying goes, "who vex, lorse".

ps.. don't hit me please... :|

[Solachica]

Nice Breadwinner :)

When my Boss 1st came to work with us she said tht she hoped she cud get the same respect and cooperation tht the other boss who was also female had.
Someone commented tht she cud not get tht just so she had to earn it. 2yrs down the road she ent earn tht respect yet.

[BW]

When my Boss 1st came to work with us she said tht she hoped she cud get the same respect and cooperation tht the other boss who was also female had.
Someone commented tht she cud not get tht just so she had to earn it. 2yrs down the road she ent earn tht respect yet.

:lol: :lol:

[lexbarker]

KFC, you will get my respect when you grow up, another half page with nothing substantial.

[serenity]

ps.. don't hit me please... :|

:lol: :lol: :lol:
KFC, exactly how does one 'demand respect'?

[KFCSpicy]

lmao @ breadwinner. Thanks for the view point cyah fault yuh dey.

Serenity just by being born. That is as simple as I can put it. I sure when a child is born he doh have to earn yuh respect everyone does talk about how life starts in the womb and how that life precious. As soon as a child is out of the womb he has to start earning his respect? Lawd So as a grown woman I must spend the rest of my life pandering to people's insecurities and proclivities to hate yuh on sight and hope they like me? I doh think so. As far as I am concerned a lot of you do not like assertive people yet all yuh does claim to be assertive but only if allowed to be so.

I doh need permission from nobody to be me and if u doh like it then roll on by u not that important in the firs and last instance.

When I first meet someone I give them neutrality cause I don't expect to dislike or disrespect anyone that is why I can be friends and acquaintance to many people from the politician/businessman to the Beetham ruff neck. I doh discriminate to whom my respect is given to until you have proven yourself unworthy of it...and that in itself is vey hard for a person to do with me as I always give yuh a second and third chance with me. I am tolerant but when it comes to deliberate haters I doh waste my time ah tall as it is obvious they taking too much pleasure in being nasty, negative and complete morons. That for me is an energy depleting trial and I eh up for it. some people worth my time and some not but I respect most of the people I meet from the word go. No one is a an animal that I can not trust that person to act right without giving them a chance so for me to state that they have to earn my respect as if my respect is so all encompassing and life giving is absolutely arrogant and narcisstic.

[serenity]

Oh, so u really mean u are entitled to respect. Cool. Most ppl would agree with u that each person is entitled to respect until such a time that by their actions they are not worthy.

[KFCSpicy]

well u believe what u want and what most people want. I go do me, I do not prescribe to live by what people think I should do hun. Fact of the matter is no one better than me so their respect is not a gift to be given to me. If you don't automatically respect a person then your egos need to be checked. None of us eh that special and we all are on the same level when it comes to most things so why must your "respect" be like a prize?

Steupse!

[serenity]

Huh? Which post are u responding to?

[sheppy]

Respect is earned

[KFCSpicy]

earning something is indicative that you get a prize or a something well deserved at the end. Who is john doe that i must earn he respect? the mere fact that all yuh doh automatically respect people and expect them to wuk for it is a sign of how distasteful the human race is to all yuh.

[BW]

Respect is earned

You might want to revise that statement. It implies that you don't have respect for the bus driver, the garbage man, the waiter, or anyone else you might have just met on the street. As K said, that's one of the things wrong with the world; nobody shows any respect for one another.

[KFCSpicy]

Lyrics: Jill Scott - Hate On Me lyrics
Album: Unknown

If I could give you the world
On a silver platter
Would it even matter?
You'd still be mad at me

If I could find in all this
A dozen roses
Which I would give to you
You'd still be miserable

In reality, I'm gon' be who I be
And I don't feel no faults
For all the lies that you bought
You can try as you may
Break me down but I say
That it ain't up to you
Gone and do what you do

(Chorus)
Hate on me, hater
Now or later
'Cuz I'm gonna do me
You'll be mad, baby
(Go 'head and hate)
Go 'head and hate on me, hate on
'Cuz I'm not afraid of it
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me

Ooh, if I gave you peaches
Out of my own garden
And I made you a peach pie
Would you slap me high

What if I gave you diamonds
Out of my own womb
Would you feel the love in that,
Or ask "why not the moon"?

If I gave you sanity
For the whole of humanity,
Had all the solutions
For the pain and pollution

No matter where I live,
Despite the things I give,
You'll always be this way
So go 'head and....

(Chorus)
Hate on me, hater
Now or later
'Cuz I'm gonna do me
You'll be mad, baby
(Go 'head and hate)
Go 'head and hate on me, hate on
'Cuz I'm not afraid of it
What I got I paid for
You can hate on me

You cannot hate on me
'Cuz my mind is free
Feel my destiny
So shall it be
SO APPROPRIATE I NEED NOT SAY MORE ON THIS SUBJECT

[serenity]

First of all, KFC, nobody hating on u, its nothing personal, we just seem to have a difference of opinion. I say seem bec I dont believe we disagree on the principle that all persons deserve some measure of consideration/respect.


Secondly, I think there seem to be two uses of the word respect. The meaning that Sheppy may be refering to when he says respect is to be earned is more along the lines of having a high opinion of/regard/admire. So, u wont say u respect the average joe down the road jus so. Your respect usually comes out of him having done something noteworthy which impressed u, like he is an upstanding man who work hard, sometimes working from 7am to 10pm to mind his children right even when his wife left him for the neighbour.

The other meaning of respect is consideration. I respect the fact that u are in line in front of me so I wouldnt just walk past u to the top of the line. In that scenario, u havent done anything to earn respect other than being there.

[KFCSpicy]

I not talking about me with the song Serenity. I put it there to show how significant the words were. Sighhhhhhhh!

I agree with the last two paragraphs but as I said the song was not because I was feeling put upon in any way. I did not read anything on here to make me feel like that so my apologies to one and all if that is the impression left by the lyrics.