Weddings

[Solachica]

So I know for most people they wud have dreamt abt their wedding day for so long etc.
So now they finally decide to take tht marriage step and it's time to plan a wedding.
How do you decide if you want to go with a big bash or a big and simple or just small etc.

For me personally I never really dreamt of a wedding but I thought abt maybe yea I wud have the traditional 3 day Hindu wedding. Now if I have to do it I wud say a Civil ceremony and maybe a lil reception after.
I know some people send thousands + on their wedding and even take loan for it. Average wedding cost abt $50000? :?
In my thinking now, I say tht I wud rather I use tht money and put it to use for a downpayment on something rather than having all this pomp and display. Others have told me, you only wud do it once (hopefully) and why dont have something to remember with family and friends and all the trimmings.

Is this just a stage tht am going thru? Am I being unreasonable to be thinking abt it as a waste of money? and also I don't want my parents spending money they don't have or cud have used to do something for themselves and I don't want to spend my money either. :mrgreen:

[KFCSpicy]

ummm how old are u Sola? This may be a factor..also how many of yuy other family and friends get married recently?

For me, I think if that day every miraculously happen, I want a traditional wedding. Forced bridesmaids to wear dresses dey go hate meh for, people showing up jess for the food, meh mother organising everything to death and meh father keeping well away and buffing people on de day.

I guess I just want my friends, family and meh man (most importantly) to be there and I go be happy. Is de honey moon I does think about...small silly things like is de consumation going to be any better as we go be brushing long before dat day :? Where will we go? Will we be too tired? Do I want kids right after marriage or time with my husband? For me is time with the huzzy.

[Scorpio]

Solachica, that day should be the most spacial day of your life, and if both you and the guy belive that you're meant to spend the rest of your lives together, then it shouldn't matter what it takes to make sure that that day (or those 3 days) a special, lifelong memory.

[Solachica]

:mrgreen:
But i ent want to take a loan to have a wedding.

[Scorpio]

^^^ then be creative, and make it a special day for both of you without spending too much money.

[Solachica]

:D
if and when tht time come I wud see.

But I just wanted to know wht others think.

A friend of mine got married in August and she had 2 weddings. A christian one for the feller and a hindu one for her becos she said she always dreamt of having her hindu wedding. So $75000 later they now saving to start building their house.

[Scorpio]

YOu know what ? $75K might sound like plenty money, but if yuh could really find somebody who could make you feel the lyrics of that old song "everything I own" (I have the lyrics on the neteretainment board, lyrics yuh feeling), that wouldn't matter.

You really can't understand what being alone /lonely is like until you're truly alone/lonely.

[sheppy]

really depends on how much ppl comin to d wedding..and where u havin it....
if u havin it in yuh back yard or s'thin...bout 200ppl might be like 50k
if u having it in a hotel or similar venue...it will start around 100k

but there are ways to cut costs...food and alco especially are the expensive things...
most venues make u take their bar and food selection which is usually very overpriced...
den yuh hadda tink bout honeymoon and where u livin after that...the most important thing is first to decide what u can afford...then make your plans to suit.

[vaio]

well, my wedding cost abt $70K and it was a great day!! i did not have to take a loan, we used our savings and income for the month.

The other factor we considered is that we already have a house...so it was not a big deal to spend a bit for the wedding...we split the costs 50:50...

Then i went to a friend's wedding and heard they spend $200K, i did not feel so bad that i may have overspent a little.

There are ways to cut costs...may be you can (if yuh lookin) check out trinidadweddings.com..there are great ideas from the members...(me being one of them) :)

[Solachica]

:?
Guess it's just me...every1 else pro wedding

[vaio]

Chica, are you planning? :D

[Solachica]

:mrgreen:
Oh gosh no.
But you know sometimes I does just think random things nuh :lol:

[vaio]

yea, ah know what yuh mean... :D

[lexbarker]

How much does one expect to give as a gift for a wedding? I usually give enough to cover my expences at the table and the bar plus a little extra to help out the honeymoon.

[vaio]

that sounds like a lot...sometimes ppl can drink a lot at the bar esp if its alcohol...i usually give abt $300 worth.. usually money or from a registry...

[Solachica]

Depends on how close I am to the person I giving the gift to.
But I think you on the right track there with your gift giving there lex. Thts wht I read on wedding gift giving. You give to cover the amt of your plate.

[KFCSpicy]

Dey lucky i walk wid giff! Ah wonder if dat is why i eh go ah wedding in years dread :(

[vaio]

cld be K :D

[KFCSpicy]

hee hee hee :lol:

[Sumana]

I want a hugeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee wedding :D and he been already told in advance :lol: :lol: the poor boy knows what to expect :lol:

[vaio]

yuh sharing the cost...that might be pretty expensive.. :D

[Sumana]

I'm the only daughter :D and younger of two :D everyone done tell the boy he has high standards to live up to hehe i feel sorry for him sometimes :)
Then again he knows what he in for cos the other nite i got questioned about the kind of wedding I want, and where I want it, and where I want the reception, and where I wanna shop for clothes, and where I wanna live hehe, he was prob trying to gauge how much trouble he get himself into

[KFCSpicy]

well once he can afford it and your parents doh mind handling de scene. Good to go.

Dat remind me of the time I and some friends crash an indian wedding in South Valsayn. We walk een like we was invited and sit down and reallllllllll eat and lime. :D

[vaio]

I'm the only daughter :D and younger of two :D everyone done tell the boy he has high standards to live up to hehe i feel sorry for him sometimes :)
Then again he knows what he in for cos the other nite i got questioned about the kind of wedding I want, and where I want it, and where I want the reception, and where I wanna shop for clothes, and where I wanna live hehe, he was prob trying to gauge how much trouble he get himself into

i agree with K, once he and parents have then he shld go...if not..well :?:

[Midnight]

Remember it is NOT just the day but the life ahead that is most important.

I am more practical and will choose the least expensive and use the money to start our future together.
I will ONLY choose close family and friends to celebrate the special day.


Midnight

[Midnight]

Remember it is NOT just the day but the life ahead that is most important.

I am more practical and will choose the least expensive and use the money to start our future together.
I will ONLY choose close family and friends to celebrate the special day.


Midnight

[sapodila]

Oh gosh gyul.............get the man, find the pundit discuss it with the parents, set the date, invite A FEW VERY CLOSE FAMILY AND FRIENDS who you know will be happy for yuh and tie the knot. Wey yuh inviting ALL DEM peeps tuh shu shu eat yuh, drink yuh and critizise yuh for. Save dem $$$$$$$$$ for alyyuh future nah :D

[Solachica]

:o
Sumana yuh pick up and talking abt getting hitched ahready. :shock:

I may be different but I wud want to pay for my own wedding.
Not going to depend on parents to have it for me. But then again if you rich wht does money really matter eh. :?

[Sumana]

hehehe, naw I think the boy was working out in his head and figuring out what he get himself into hehe i get all kinda questions that nite :D he's too sweet :)

[Solachica]

:mrgreen:
Most people go to weddings not becos they really happy for you but they want to see wht you wear or the bride/groom etc.
My aunt got married in August and most of the people who came they were talking abt the decorations, wht she wore, wht her family wore and who fly in for the wedding etc.
It turned out to be all a big show.....and we put in so many mths into all of it tht finished so quickly. :roll:
Things happened from the grooms side tht had everything rushed in the end so all didn't go as planned. Thts another story by itself if I used to cuss I wudda cuss the grooms uncle tht evening. Imagine coming to the wedding and making a comment tht so much of her family come in from foreign and not one of them put a $100US or $100 can :roll: in the bowl.
Then when my aunt went by the inlaws the 79 yr old MIL wud make the comment tht why yuh dress so fancy and why it so puffed out etc. :roll: and make comment abt makeup etc
Imagine on yuh wedding nite yuh in a new place and people telling yuh tht :x

[Sumana]

but das normal though, plenty ppl don't learn what they marrying into yes, they think they jus marrying the husband but they marrying the whole damn family!
I'm always on the groom's side :( my girl cousins need to get married!!! Or I buggin my roomie to get married hehehe :lol: Cos I have a longgggggggggggggg way to go :D
i real hyper tonight yes...a wedding wudda be the real flick lol
and how much de groom uncle put? :lol:

[Solachica]

:roll:
me ent know nuh.
I did done ent like him when we 1st met when he want to make it a point tht he own a small construction business. and want to say how much cars he owned etc. is like he never see come see and feel he money he had wudda impress me. :roll:

[Solachica]

Yea most people dont know wht they marrying into. The inlaws can be the best people to you and when marriage done is a next side you seeing of them :roll:
Which brings me to another point.
A couple I know in early 20's got married in August . On wedding night they girl spent the night at inlaws place becos she had to go there to get the MIL to do her rituals etc but the next day she and her groom went to their apt tht they renting. The bride said they she not comfortable staying at inlaws place so they renting.

How many people actually have their own homes to move into after wedding? I ent talking abt renting eh I talking abt your own.

[Sumana]

U shudda ask him :lol: tell him, but i thought u put a few cool grand in there :D
That's one thing I'm making sure of - I want my own house before I get married
hehe hence, i have a longgg wayy to gooo next 10 years 'n ting check me

[sapodila]

:mrgreen:
Most people go to weddings not becos they really happy for you but they want to see wht you wear or the bride/groom etc.
My aunt got married in August and most of the people who came they were talking abt the decorations, wht she wore, wht her family wore and who fly in for the wedding etc.
It turned out to be all a big show.....and we put in so many mths into all of it tht finished so quickly. :roll:
Things happened from the grooms side tht had everything rushed in the end so all didn't go as planned. Thts another story by itself if I used to cuss I wudda cuss the grooms uncle tht evening. Imagine coming to the wedding and making a comment tht so much of her family come in from foreign and not one of them put a $100US or $100 can :roll: in the bowl.
Then when my aunt went by the inlaws the 79 yr old MIL wud make the comment tht why yuh dress so fancy and why it so puffed out etc. :roll: and make comment abt makeup etc
Imagine on yuh wedding nite yuh in a new place and people telling yuh tht :x
See what ah mean.......dais why I say

Oh gosh gyul.............get the man, find the pundit discuss it with the parents, set the date, invite A FEW VERY CLOSE FAMILY AND FRIENDS who you know will be happy for yuh and tie the knot. Wey yuh inviting ALL DEM peeps tuh shu shu eat yuh, drink yuh and critizise yuh for. Save dem $$$$$$$$$ for alyyuh future nah :D get married with those who happy for yuh... forget all the others

[vaio]

U shudda ask him :lol: tell him, but i thought u put a few cool grand in there :D
That's one thing I'm making sure of - I want my own house before I get married
hehe hence, i have a longgg wayy to gooo next 10 years 'n ting check me

i agree with you on this...cause it takes a lot getting accustomed to your new hubby and he with you. To put up with in-laws sometimes can add pressure to a newly-wed couple...even if they think they mean well..sometimes it for the hubby/wife to work out by themselves..

[SSDD]

i dont want a huge wedding but the size of my family alone has made that impossible. they and close friends already make 200.... and of course both set of parents have ppl they wanna invite. i don't think you have to spend a huge amount of money on your wedding just gotta be smart about where you're cutting costs. a government run place is alot cheaper than a private proprty to rent for the day and there are some really lovely places around you just gotta look. some ppl do non alcho and in my case i think i gonna have my mum n they cook the food. they def have the experience of it.

[KFCSpicy]

Get married on a Monday and then throw a party in Ambassador's on Saturday night. It cheaper...everyone go be in wuk de Monday that go cut down on de costs. :?

[sheppy]

Well is true...yuh spending about 600-1000 a head to invite ppl to a wedding that they gonna scrutinize and complain about d food..or not enuff drinks..or that the chair was uncomfortable and who bring ppl that wasn't even invited..and who wear a short skirt and somebody uncle was hitting on her whole nite..an d aunt take him outside an buss a slap on him wit a slipper (an i see dis fuh real)

doesn't really make u feel like making a big deal about it....with all that drama...
go vegas an get married on a gondola in the venetian and have yuh honeymoon one time..come back to trinidad an collect gift and move into yuh new house....send out some thank you cards and get on with the important things in life...like deciding where to put the big screen in the livingroom yuh get from uncle tony.. :lol:

[KFCSpicy]

My thing is ever since we small we getting dragged to weddings. I always equate weddings in Trinidad with the smell of Chloe perfume, fried rice and chicken and roti. Always songs like "Stealing loveeeeeeee on da sideeee..." and others of that genre. I have a warm place in meh heart for weddings because of my early experiences. :)

[Solachica]

Trinis cud go vegas and get hitched and its legal? It wud be recognised as legal in TnT?
I like tht idea.

[vaio]

sola, as long as you happy.. :D

[KFCSpicy]

doh do it girl. especially if he eh name Hova or Diddy. :o

[Solachica]

But tht Vegas idea appeals to me. :lol:
Wud like to know if it wud considered legal and recognised in TnT after. Just for knowledge eh.

[KFCSpicy]

why wouldn't it be Avatar Queen? Las Vegas is part of America is not some daft colony or independant island on mars. Also the perks of doing it there is yuh doh have to wait long for a licence to get married and yuh eh need a blood test dread.

[sheppy]

you have to be a citizen of America or atleast naturalized for your marriage in Vegas to be legal...

[vaio]

But tht Vegas idea appeals to me. :lol:
Wud like to know if it wud considered legal and recognised in TnT after. Just for knowledge eh.
gyul just go be a pundit or imam and you good to go..but make sure that they have license to conduct marriages first...you will save yourself a plane ticket and accommodation.. ;)

[KFCSpicy]

Sheppy where you read that? How many people leave all over the world and go to Vegas to get married for the novelty of it all yuh mean to tell meh that it illegal and null and void? Stop it eh. Google this for meh please all yuh...Coz it seems like I iz de only one dat real real real wukkin at dey desk. 8-)

[Sumana]

But tht Vegas idea appeals to me. :lol:
Wud like to know if it wud considered legal and recognised in TnT after. Just for knowledge eh.
gyul just go be a pundit or imam and you good to go..but make sure that they have license to conduct marriages first...you will save yourself a plane ticket and accommodation.. ;)
but then the whole excitement and drama of going to vegas lost

[vaio]

Sheppy where you read that? How many people leave all over the world and go to Vegas to get married for the novelty of it all yuh mean to tell meh that it illegal and null and void? Stop it eh. Google this for meh please all yuh...Coz it seems like I iz de only one dat real real real wukkin at dey desk. 8-)

i wukkin too...i cyar do it... :oops:

[vaio]

But tht Vegas idea appeals to me. :lol:
Wud like to know if it wud considered legal and recognised in TnT after. Just for knowledge eh.
gyul just go be a pundit or imam and you good to go..but make sure that they have license to conduct marriages first...you will save yourself a plane ticket and accommodation.. ;)
but then the whole excitement and drama of going to vegas lost

doh tell you thinkin about dat too!!!!??? :o

[Sumana]

na! i good :D i want everyone wid me when I get married :lol: :lol: hehe next...10 years 'n ting na

[vaio]

yesss..a celebration ... :D

[Solachica]

Sumana yuh go remember me when yuh sending out yuh hundreds of wedding invites in 10yrs eh

Yea I was thinking abt the Vegas weddings as being different and honeymoon 1 time.

[Sumana]

no scenery :D I wonder if this forum will b around 10 years from now...

[KFCSpicy]

I think I go be too busy to care ^^^

Just doh get married girl. Look at Oprah and Tina Turner...dem happy as hell.

[sheppy]

ummm wha oprah want wit a husband??? she have money...lol
all she need is a lil part-time pool boy and stedman fuh d interlectual side...


for all yuh vegas hopefuls...i was wrong :oops: you can apply for a vegas wedding certificate from the state of Nevada...they permit international marriages.

Here are the 10 rules...

1. No Blood Tests

2. No Waiting Period

3. Marriage License Fee $55 (Cash Only). In order to have a legal marriage, a ceremony must be performed in the State of Nevada within one year from date of issuance of the marriage license by any person licensed or authorized to perform ceremonies in Nevada.

4. Both Parties must be present at the Marriage License Bureau, 1st Floor, 200 S. Third Street, Las Vegas. NV 89155-1603, hours open daily 8a to midnight, including holidays Phone: 702-455-4415

5. Courthouse hours: Monday - Thursday, 8:00 a.m. - Midnight and Friday 8 a.m. - Continuous until Sunday Midnight. Holidays Open 24 hours. Hours for civil marriages are 8a-10p daily, including weekends and holidays.

6. Adults 18 and older do not need consent, proof of age is required

7. Persons 16-17 years old must have either parent present at the time license is issued or a notarized affidavit

8. Persons under age 16 must have either parent consent and authorization from Nevada District Court

9. One witness other than the individual performing the ceremony is required

10. If Previously divorced, marriage applicants are required to know the Month/Day/Year/City and State of their divorce. The divorce must be final and filed with the courts in the state or country granted. You are not required to bring the divorce decree.


Additional General Information

1. International Residents, non USA. The rules for non USA resident adults getting married in Las Vegas are the same. However, often many countries want a certified copy of the marriage certificate and an Apostille from the Nevada Secretary of State. Marriage Certificate costs $10.00 and the Apostille costs $20.00, (in U.S. Dollars payable through a U.S. bank) For those married in Las Vegas, Clark County use the following address:
Clark County Recorder
P.O. Box 551510
Las Vegas, NV 89155-1510
For those couples married in Nevada, but "not" in Clark County contact Nevada Secretary of State.
Secretary of State
Notary Division
101 N. Carson Street #3
Carson City, Nevada 89701
Telephone: 775-684-5708 or (800) 992-0900 ext. 5203
(It is suggested that non U.S. citizens check with your local officials for special documents that may be needed to ensure that your marriage will be recognized in your country.)

2. To receive certified copies only or information about your Nevada marriage certificate, please direct your requests to:
Clark County Recorder
P.O. Box 551510
Las Vegas, Nevada 89155-1510
(702) 455-4336
You must include the Name of Groom, Maiden name of Bride, Date of Marriage, Application number if known, Your return mailing address and $10.00 check or Money Order (in U. S. dollars through a U.S. bank.

Obtaining the certified copy of a Nevada marriage license from previous years, the following information is needed. The name of the groom, maiden name of the bride, date of the marriage, certificate number (if known) and a return address where the certificate should be mailed. If the year of the marriage is not known, an additional fee of $5.00 is applied for the past five years search, after search of the previous five years, another fee of $1.00 per year for searching complete marriage index will be needed. Certified copies of your Marriage "License" may be purchased at the time of issuance of the Marriage License, or you may mail your request and fees at a later date.

[strombo23]

ah notice not much guys on this thread. i've never given my Wedding Day any deep thought really. i just imagined it from small that it would be in my local Church. compliments of my parents ofcourse. :D
i love Hindu weddings tho.

[Solachica]

Intresting :)

[vaio]

i loveee all weddings...i just love seeing ppl happy...looking and going forward in future...

[KFCSpicy]

barf^^^

Didnt I say previously that yuh didnt need most of them things in sheppy thread? sigh all yuh doh listen to de ole woman dread.

[Solachica]

:lol:
allyuh really need tht Vomit smiley :P
A relative of a friend getting married this weekend. Big hindu shindig :mrgreen:

[vaio]

i have a weddin to go to next weekend...a hindu wedding....lookin fwd to it...oh the excitement...!!!

[Solachica]

:D
The wedding now done. The gurl going change into she wedding dress.
If i getting married Hindu I ent wearing no wedding dress nuh...tht was never my kinda thing. Wud wear some nice Indian outfit. 8-)

[Sumana]

yeah mine too

[sapodila]

ah was now coming here to address sheppy about the vegas bull crap...... but he get it rite. I know of a few Trini couples who get hitched in vegas....... and it legal. I know of many Trinis who get hitched out of T&T and it legal too :D

[Trinique]

Solachica and Vaoi I really like your avatars, can you tell me where you got them?

[Solachica]

Trinique I been collecting avatars for over 7 yrs now so I just have them stored.
But for doll av's you can do a search and there are many sites around but I saw the the old ones where I got my Indian dollz aren't around anymore.

[Solachica]

. I know of a few Trini couples who get hitched in vegas....... and it legal. I know of many Trinis who get hitched out of T&T and it legal too :D
More intresting info. :mrgreen:

[vaio]

Solachica and Vaoi I really like your avatars, can you tell me where you got them?

Well sola is the avatar queen...i just did a search for avatars and choose one... there weren't much that i liked though...

[Solachica]

:oops: :shock: :lol:
ah is ah queen :twisted:

[vaio]

:oops: :shock: :lol:
ah is ah queen :twisted:

Do ah wave like Patos in de square yesterday.... :P

[Solachica]

http://www.fadzter.com/smilies/kingqueen.gif http://www.fadzter.com/smilies/wave.gif

[vaio]

http://www.fadzter.com/smilies/kingqueen.gif http://www.fadzter.com/smilies/wave.gif

hehehe...ah like that one...them better lookin than the Mannings anyhow... :mrgreen:

[lexbarker]

Some months ago someone I know received an Italian co-worker's invitation to her wedding. She was asking for a wedding gift $180 dollars cash per person. Italians are know for their big splasy expensive weddings. She turned down attendance but did sent a small gift. Would you have done the same?

[Solachica]

Its considered tacky to ask for money tht way.
I think your friend did ok. I mean she didn't even go to tht gurls wedding but still sent something.
Its also considered tacky to put those bridal registry cards inside your invitation as I see people doing now days. Your registry can be spread thru word or mouth.

[vaio]

Actually, it is more practical to enclose a registry card...word of mouth may not always work esp if cards are mailed out...

As for asking for money...some couples come to trini from foreign to get married...it is more practical to enclose in the invitation a request for monetary gifts instead of traditional gifts since they wld be travelling back.. :ugeek:

[Solachica]

It is practical to enclose your registry card in the invite but is bad wedding etiquette. (Not sure I spell tht correctly :) )
The I Do account is good to set up for the monetary gifts. Not sure if tht shud be enclosed in the invite either.

[vaio]

sola, so what you think you gonna do then?

[Solachica]

:mrgreen:
Nowdays alot of people ask where you are registered so tht helps....otherwise I go just take the hundred glass set tht the people giving :lol:
I really ent know nuh. But from everything I've read they said it's a no-no to include those cards in the invitation.
But then as they say in the other site...Your day, your way rite? :D

[vaio]

i agree sola, your day - your way....

i did not get a registry and ended up with a whole bunch of gifts that i cld not use or had already.....wish i had done the registry....its soooo much better....

[KFCSpicy]

Doh get marrid gyal. Just shack up...wat is de difference?

[vaio]

K...what you encouraging....??!!!! :o

[KFCSpicy]

:lol: ummm nothing...ah jess asking an innocent innocent question. Why Vaio soooo dread? :evil: :? :lol:

[vaio]

:lol: ummm nothing...ah jess asking an innocent innocent question. Why Vaio soooo dread? :evil: :? :lol:

K..why you sooooo bad...i'll keep meh eye on yuh.... :D

[KFCSpicy]

Solaaaaaaaaaa

girl take de money and go live in de Estate of Lord Beetham girllllllllll. Get all yuh stuff on hire purchase and then make all doors and windows small small. :lol: :mrgreen: :D

[vaio]

K......look at yuh....tsk.tsk.tsk..

[KFCSpicy]

Wah? Ah jess suggesting ways Sola cud keep she gifts wid out them being taken and widout de expense of a wedding. steupse! I go stop helping dread.

I man cyah offer nothing dese days.

[vaio]

Wah? Ah jess suggesting ways Sola cud keep she gifts wid out them being taken and widout de expense of a wedding. steupse! I go stop helping dread.

I man cyah offer nothing dese days.

K...you're being a bad girl today.... :? scorps would have fixed you good and proper.... :P

[KFCSpicy]

hee hee hee...is menopause! And lots of Red Bull.

[vaio]

hee hee hee...is menopause! And lots of Red Bull.


:o :shock: :shock: :? :|

[Solachica]

Oh gord look how topic change. Red bull :?

[KFCSpicy]

Well ah drinking Red Bull so as not to fall asleep by meh desk. IS not a drink we can't have here at work so I good. :D going and torture Peanut lil bit on de thread. BRB! :D

[Solachica]

So allyuh people who married ahready was it to long ago to remember and tell us some wedding and wedding planning stories?
Wht was the favourite gift you got?

[vaio]

It was stress planning your own wedding...but i enjoyed it as i got things my way...i had a say in everything....Trinidad weddings helped...those girls are great....they helped with everything....decorator, cake maker, make up artist, limo service....

My favourite gift was my wedding dress which from my dad....it was sooooooo beautifulllllll...with an 8ft train....... :)