Friends Of The Opposite Sex

[bluenote492000]

A colleague’s girlfriend is extremely jealous of her boyfriend’s best friend who just happens to be female. They have been friends since they were 5 yrs. old and he’s been dating the girl for the past year. But the girlfriend is still insecure. So do you think it’s possible for a guy/girl to have a strictly platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex? Discuss.

[sheppy]

Yes...

strangely enough, i've found some women tend to have that 'radar' that can pick up on the 'more than just friends' vibe. and this causes mistrust and leads to their disdain of the other woman..and actually quite justifiably so!

That said..some women jus insecure, jealous, haters...an cyah see dey man share a 'brain trust' wit anudder female..
--and das my perspective from d man side seeing the woman side...

On the man side havin a platonic relationship wit woman even an ex-gf das not romantic...is completely possible
but there are dangers....

[KFCSpicy]

I believe that it's possible, 90% of my friends are male and they give me the balance I need....most times they just make me realise that I need to say some extra prayers for the male species. But...I once introduced a good female friend to a good male friend and they started dating. Cool...I happy for them dread meh two friends copulating like rabbits and making each other happy. Then one night me and she limin and she say "but wait why u and he so close?" I was like ... :? ummm because we is friends??? she say " well how comes the things u can get away with wid him and the things u can tell he I can't?" So I say :? ummm because he sees me as a friend and you are his girlfriend he has diff expectations of u I guess.

She was not amused apparently cause over the next few weeks the boy change towards me. She told him how when we were in UWI 6th Form how I made she so upset a day that she walk all de way home after school. :shock: Ah say but wait this bee otch was living PRizgar Lands and we school in St. Augustine...but wtd muddah and faddah neck going on here. SO i get home and had to question she about it cause I was totally at a loss. He accused me of bullying she and being nasty to her and I was like :o .

The girl say that oh he misunderstand she, she didn't tell him that. Ah say so what I told u in shcool 13 years ago so that made u so upset? She say how I did ask she if she liked a guy in school whom she had a crush on. :shock:

So i here waiting still for the rest ah de story...yuh know dat was it? Dis bee otch make it sound like she was traumatised for life because I say so yuh realll like Tariq Maria? Ah say so u walk home? Here de loser...no I walk down to UWI Tunnel. :shock:

Now me and he doh talk, now they married, me and she doh talk. Life eh? Dat is one of the main reasons I doh hang wid immature, low self esteemed, harpies who prefer to waste energy on battling other women over assumed and imagined wrongs. Or just like Sheppy say..because dey is haters.

I good doing me and the few female friends I have are exceptional Women with exceptionally high self esteemed and nah give a rats tight derrier who like dem once they get their respect.

[dhal]

I good doing me and the few female friends I have are exceptional Women with exceptionally high self esteemed and nah give a rats tight derrier who like dem once they get their respect.

ditto...but daz a whole other thread...

in response to this, yes i think it is possible...maybe i sayin that cuz im usually d friend lol

btw...is not only woman who cant handle dey man havin a close friend whos a girl eh...fellas worse...esp if he happen to be an ex

[KFCSpicy]

Well that is too true Dhal. Seeing as I have accumulated sooooooo many exes (tee hee all for research purposes only of course) My new boy friends always give me the third degree about them. I have to now let guys know from day one that I have reallllllll man friend eh dread so doh come rong me wid no lil boy rubbish. But I enjoy de lil jealousy now and again keeps them aspiring to making me happier.

I am always the girl of the man who the girl friends does originally hate. Some hate me on sight after dey man talking bout meh so much but then when they decide to give meh a chance they end being more of my friend than their mens dem. For the women who hate meh still is so I does make their lives a living hell.

Sue me... I enjoy the antagonism. :twisted:

[serenity]

Sure there can be platonic relationships bet a man and a woman. But this thing about yuh best friend is a person of the opposite sex who is not your gf/bf, I can see causing problems.

Call me selfish but if I'm in a relationship with u, then I dont expect there to be someone u confide in more than me other than your mother. I'm supposed to be your best friend. Thats the kinda relationship I want. I'd also be a little suspicious of exes who are friends now.I ent talking about a chick yuh was with ten years ago for 2 months. I talking bout those looooong relationships where lots of time and emotions were invested. To still be calling she and liming and thing is looking for trouble.

[Solachica]

:D ^^^
I agree there oui.



But this thing about yuh best friend is a person of the opposite sex who is not your gf/bf, I can see causing problems.




Call me selfish but if I'm in a relationship with u, then I dont expect there to be someone u confide in more than me other than your mother.

[sapodila]

The best friends are of the opposite sex. That's my opinion and experience, by the way. Jealous girlfriends and wives, I can't handle...they can't find in their hearts the trust that brings about security .It's like they don't appreciate what they have. It's a shame that you had to loose a life long friendship...KFC....because of some idiotic jealous woman you apparently never had a man as a "friend". Oh and by the way........if my man is "confiding in his mother":lol: :lol: :lol:.......(it depend on what he is confiding, that he can't tell me or his right hand "friend" :roll: ) .........in the first place I don't appreciate no "Mamma's boy".

[KFCSpicy]

^^^that is another thread right dey...mama's boys...I doh want no man confiding in dey mother.

Saps I think de girl was weeding out any future problems cause I will rock wid yuh man if I feel like it but my immoral tail have morals when it comes to frenz menz. Ah doh go there. Plus I knew how she felt and what her past relationships had left her feeling so why add to her pain? Plus he eh even hot. Steupse at least gimmeh credit for that nah dread.

another thread to start is friends who does put their man/woman before your friendships. I cyah stand woman who rather prefer obsessed wid dey relationship with a man and cyah see the way to be your good friend still. Is like they cyah breed without de man telling them how to inhale. weak weak women.

And I eh so superficial and needy to want them to stop having a best friend who isn't me. Once he have meh back and stand at meh side when ah need meh man then he good to go, whether she be 2 month old mandy or 4 year long Farrah ... :)

[sheppy]

In the end is trust issues.....either yuh trust the person or not !

If you trust the person...you know they will do the right thing...and not put themselves in a compromising situation
The other person in the relationship must recognize this trust that is being placed in them..and not take it for granted..

Tellin a guy or a girl that they can't have friends of the opposite sex (exs or not) is selfish..and to me shows that maybe you don't trust your relationship in the first place...also placing that dynamic where your s.o knows that you are threatened by another woman/man (yes das what it is) and making it forbidden...only making things worse...now u've made a big deal out of it..and placed it on a pedestal ..(is now yuh woman/man want it more) Let's face it...u can't realistically expect yuh gf or bf to never look at anudder woman/man or try to control who they are friends with...if anything you should accept it, but place boundaries that you both agree on...like no late night lonely drives to chag :lol:

Jealousy is a good thing, in small doses..it keeps us in check..and helps us not to take each other for granted...when it becomes a manifestation of insecurity in a relationship..is a bad thing...and also a testement to the maturity of your love/relationship....

[serenity]

I dont think its enough to say u trust your pardner.
Sure, trust is paramount but we are all fallible. Why invite temptation?
And there are some really evil ppl out there who break up relationships just bec they could. I know someone who does that. She has been really hurt by someone she loved and now decided that all men are fair game - relationship or not. And the guys who go for her arent always the badboys who doh care. Sometimes its genuinely loving relationships that are affected. And its tarts off with giving her a lift sometimes...an afterwork lime...the occassional weekend call...friendship....next thing yuh know u doing something u swore to yourself u'd never do and all fall down.

[KFCSpicy]

then serenity that is not her it's these menz weakness for sweetness. It takes two to tango but saying that all these lifts doh need to turn into sexual relationships on any level. Wham to dese men dread? And wham to she dat she pulling bull and taking it too?

lmao :lol:

[sheppy]

well i disagree...we can't all be that weak to every girl that lift up their skirts...
give a guy some credit...and while i agree from removing unecessary temptation (we know d flesh weak bad bad)...shouldn't the person be the one to decide that?

Alot of platonic relationships can develop into something more...especially when emotions are shared and there is trust between both parties...because it is born out of something deeper than initial physical attraction (that may have been the catalyst for the other bonifide relationship) and therefore is rightly more of a threat to a weaker relationship....
I believe it is our duty to warn our s.o when we see that trouble looming or that possibility on the horizon...but still trust them enough to make the right decision...

[KFCSpicy]

yeah Sheppy ...but that brings to mind an old saying..."trust in God but still lock up yuh car"

[serenity]

well i disagree...we can't all be that weak to every girl that lift up their skirts...Shep, yuh say yuh disagree eh, but then u go on to say the same thing :arrow:
removing unecessary temptation (we know d flesh weak bad bad)...

shouldn't the person be the one to decide that?
of course! I'm not advocating dictating to the other person who they can be friends with. Ah jus saying there's certain circumstances ( a few) will make me uncomfortable and thats where we'll be having the convo about removing temptation. Bec in as much as u have the right to make friends with who u want, I also have the right to express my discomfort. By the time we talk about it I may feel better about the situation..but in the meantime..
ie
I believe it is our duty to warn our s.o when we see that trouble looming or that possibility on the horizon...but still trust them enough to make the right decision...
Besides its just a gut feeling. There might be no reason nort to like one of his friends, both male and female and u just dont. There's something not right, or something u dont trust.

[bluenote492000]

Of course it comes down to trust. I cannot conceive how some women would swear they love a guy but don’t trust them like a politicking politician. Geez. Because let’s face it you have friends that you will call quicker than you’ll call your significant other. Let’s say you think you’re pregnant. The first thing you’ll do is not call yuh man, the first thing as a woman you’ll call your real best friend ( a guy in my case). And you’ll go get a pregnancy test. You’ll go through the whole peeing on the stick with your best friend because yuh thinking “Why worry up the man head if it eh have no need.” As women sometimes we create we own problem and then blame the man. For umpteen years now yuh man and “Tricia” is just friends but you digging real horrors. Always have to mention “Look how Tricia dress too sexy.” Or “Why she always watching you so.” Before you know it you speaking about Tricia so much that’s who yuh man would be thinking about. Then yuh man then gone with Tricia and left you saying “See. I always know that would happen.” Self fulfilling prophesy.

[vaio]

i personally see no problem with this..but must add that sometimes a platonic relationship can move and become romantic ...and this can happen overnight..

[SSDD]

it is possible but at the same time the friend and your so have to know when to back things off seriously! i have seen alot of relationships break up that way. some friends as well don't know about respecting that bf/gf relationship

[vaio]

and to add to that i think 'friends' may tend to be just plain nasty and would want to break up a relationship if they don't like the significant other. :geek:

[lexbarker]

If they used to bang-bang, she has a right to be jealous. If not then she should go and get some self-confidence course.

[sheppy]

i guess if yuh go lookin fuh trouble....u shud be prepared to find it :lol:

[Mr Majik]

I used to be with this girl for about 3 years. We fought like cat and dog for most of that time, then finally broke up. That was in 1983. We remained friends, and got even closer than we were as a couple. I'll call her 'J'.
A couple of years later I met the woman who would become my wife. Shortly after meeting her she lost her apartment on short notice and my friend 'J' put her up for a couple of months. The two of them became tight friends also. So tight that when I messed up the both of them used to boof me! lol
Interestingly, I hadn't seen 'J' since shortly after my daughter was born in 1990, but by chance she bounced up a friend of mine last week who put her in touch with me. She is anxious to see me and my new family. 'J' and I have never entertained any kind of romantic delusions since we broke up. But just to be certain there is no problem with my woman, I will leave the two of them alone to get to know one another after we meet.

[KFCSpicy]

well j sounds like she was cool. Also, some people are better friends than lovers. Go figure.

[dancerboy]

I am very sociable, i would say more than 65% of my friends are of the opposiye sex, and they call me at home. My wife and i are both aquarians and we had friends of the opposite sex before we met, and we acquire more friends as a couple. We are not insecure. I refuse to meet a female i "uses" to go to high school with, and tell her that she cannot call me at home, and i do not expect my wife to do the same also. DANCERBOY

[sheppy]

well i now read dis on Trinituner....sad really...but i guess it proves a point (not really sure which point..but have a read anyway) is verbatim..so excuse d language.



meh pardner have a partner whose wife is fine as hell innocent girl type. Anyway she always told him sheit like 'men make better friends than women, Women & Men can be friends etc... They are both accountants, man this brother allowed his wife to so called " be friends with her "office" offiers (ie they were calling the house, once in a while coming by etc... I always told him any woman is strongly holding on to male company are "hititng" them, women are too loving to be around too many men. This dumb arse would not listen.

To make a long story short, he found a DVDs today of the "office" at a feild trip in Jamiaca earlier this yr where she was the "subject of attention" Dem looked at it and he was crying & sheit. Most of these guys know him at work. They have been levelling piggy on this woman for years. They looked at about about 3 DVDs today & there were about 7.

So meh boy eh know what to do...cuz cell phone off and they cyar find him...and he wife now" gehhin nervous" cuz he's a licensed firearm holder.....

Question What do you tell Women who love to tell men crap like this?

[KFCSpicy]

:shock:

Dat story have so much obvious missing parts I eh worrying to venture down dat road.

Long story even shorter. Murdering yuh spouse is no way to solve betrayal. Deal with it (cyah even say like a man cause some ah all yuh only know cave man behaviour) like a mature woman would.

She was obviously exercising her right to be an adult, an adulterous one albeit but an adult with choices no less, why murder her? What kills me (no pun intentional) is that these men aka losers does then go kill themselves after and deprive the victim or their families any justice for their crimes of so called passion.

Yes yuh married but yuh doh own de person hook line and sinker or body and soul so expect things to happen. Plus if he was any kinda man he wouldah try he best to look past de gossip (dey was already talking about him behind he back he jess didnt know) and if he wants to make an attempt at making it right with his wife then go down that route, if she is not a willing partner....walk away.

Just walk away and show the gossipers that is not u to feel pity for is anyone who is such a raving sexual addict despite her vows.

[Harry Williamn]

Some people probably have not seen a friend from the opposite sex for years or months or ????

That must be real tough yes but come to TNT and maybe just maybe you might get one if you act reall TNT but then again soemtimes people so " foreign " TNT men eh biting nuh but if yuh go by the jail on Frederick Street wey they does let go dem old jailers who now come out yuh must score yes for dem boy and dem eh see woman in years and dey is great freidns of the opposite sex to have because they hungry after all dem years!

Den yuh could help out the Country and give dem boy ah start over dey with all yuh and so we go have one pest less to worry about and of course all yuh say we " criminal records check is boo down here " well great we go give dem ah clean record so they could go way for the next twenty years with all yuh and all yuh could reform them and have a friend of the oppositie sex for life...and everybody win/win.

No wtell meh tanks for a great idea! Doh be ungrateful.