What are the signs...

[KFCSpicy]

Of when a man or a woman is just not for you dread? When do we say enuff is enuff and forego the fear of being alone for a life of drama free painless incidents?

I am 34 and I am only just applying what I have learnt previously and doing it very slowly too. It's not as easy as it seems to walk away from certain situations or people. :roll:

[serenity]

If u mean when is it time to let go..
When u fight more often that not and when your fights arent even about real issues anymore..yuh jus fighting.
When u toy with the idea of breaking up so many times and try out so many ways to say it while u lie thinking on your bed.
When u sigh before answering his calls or stop annswering altogether
When u decide u love yourself more than u love him and its time for u to see about u now
When u tired. U too tired to fight it anymore, u just want it to be over.

[Falcon]

questions to ask:

is the fear related to a high probability that you WILL be alone forever?
are you thinking rationally (venus vs mars etc)?
what is hard about walking away, i.e. what are you losing (not loosing!)?
do you think life without someone is drama free and painless?
what is more important NOW...independence or companionship?
what will be important tomorrow?
when is enough enough, and if it isnt now, when will it be?

[Somebody007]

KFC Spicy, you is 34 years old.....that kind of shocking because you doh look like 34 in dem pics yuh use to put up. Dem pics look like somebody more in they 20's to me.....but if them pics was recent well girl, you does look real young for 34.

[vaio]

wow, some deep questions...these are pertinent questions which will help you make the right decision in your life...you have to ask yourself what is more important to you and your life and how is this person going to enrich your life, or is it just that you are making a compromise in your life in fear of being alone...

[KFCSpicy]

Umm Falco does frighten meh wid he common sense sometimes u know.

Somebody those pics are all recent well all 2007 and counting I change my hair every month and I come from great genes so thanks for the compliment ah tell yuh ah ready if u want to see meh in person just ask and u go get yuh proof dread.

To answer some of the stuff as my mind goes through them...

This was a question that I chose to ask cause most of you on here represent them out there and after reading the thread from Scorps about the girl that just didnt listen about de man dat didnt want she I wanted to ask this also.

Personally I am single right now but doh tell that to my on again off again b/f. I think that u grow up and have to figure out a lot of things in life on your own and if u are like me u procrastinate. My fear is not of really being alone but of feeling like I am meant to be alone. Makes sense? Sighhhh! Well I don't know how else to put it.

I have made some terrible choices but I look back and think...so what? eff it oui, is not the end of the world and now at 34 I know concretely what I want from a relationship. I am lookin further than next weekend I am now thinking of life partner. But is there such a person out there for moi? I don't know. Most of my friends parents are single mothers so what makes me think I may escape that? My mom and dad are not together now but are friends but she is single he isn't.

I wonder who writes the rules of the game or can I write my own rules to my own life and live it as I see fit once I am not hurting no one directly or indirectly?

Not confused, just thinking about other peoples outlook and fears...do they reflect mine or society's or theirs?

[kayt]

I'd say the fear of ending up stuck in a bad relationship that's hard to shake off out weighs any fear of ending up alone. Having said that I have no fear of being on my own.

[Mysty]

KFC you are 34? I aways thought you were younger.... (in a good way)

Here are some signs (guideslines) that he is not good enuff for you....

1. You invite him for dinner, he does not show nor call, but appears at your front door three days later with the excuse of having car troubles.

2. Strange people who have seen both of you together comes up to you and tells you to dump the guy..... because he is horning you.

3. He borrows money and does not pay back.

4. You have been dating for a while but never met any of his friends or family.

5. He has to meet his ex girlfriend sometimes for closure :roll:

6. He wants you to co-sign a loan for him. (do not go there!)

7. He tells you that only employees are invited to his office annual Christmas dinner. (no spouse or girlfriends)

8. He is always texting someone on the sly....

9. He appears with lovebites and tries to convince you that you gave them to him.

10. Everytime you answer the phone the person hangs up .


If your partner displays any/some of the above. Time to check yourself. :lol:

[Falcon]

^^ do those things happen beyond the age of 16????!!!! :|

[serenity]

Being single doesnt bother me. I havent actively sought to nurture any relationship and usually deflect advances bec I know how much work relationships are and I'm not ready to devote that amount of time and attention to one. I'm now getting to know me and finally able time-wise and money-wise to do things for me. I dont wonder or worry if there's someone out there for me either. I know there is. But everything in its time. And for me, this is not the time for that, this is me-time.

My friends who've hit 30 and over though, all express similar sentiments to yours. And the older they are, the more certain they are that they are just meant to be single. And these are lovely, successful girls that just cant seem to find the right one. So, you're not alone.

[Trinique]

how come ah miss KFC pics? wey it dey? :roll:

[Mysty]

^^ do those things happen beyond the age of 16????!!!! :|

well it happened to me.....

Number 1 was me.

The good thing is I can laugh about it now.... :lol:

[KFCSpicy]

^^ do those things happen beyond the age of 16????!!!! :|


unfortunately yes Falco yuh would be suprised the stuff some men/women think they can still get away with instead of just telling yuh dey eh want yuh again and they think they need to move on...take yuh buss head like a man and go dread. :x

[KFCSpicy]

how come ah miss KFC pics? wey it dey? :roll:

wham tuh she dreadddddddddd. :( reallllll macco. This new forum doh allow yuh to put up pics cause they too large ah think. Gimmeh 600 pounds sterling and ah go send yuh an autographed photo of meh :D

[Scorpio]

Umm Falco does frighten meh wid he common sense sometimes u know.

:shock: Yuh cyah be talking about the Falco from this forum. :D

[Scorpio]

Gimmeh 600 pounds sterling and ah go send yuh an autographed photo of meh :D

Wait, nuh, how Falcon allowing yuh to advertise on the forum so ?

Maybe bec yuh praise him up in yuh post earlier ? :D

[Silky]

could somebody please tell me: how do you move on after a breakup? :oops:

[dhal]

trinique miss pics!? imagin dat! i remember back in d day, if NOBODY eh see pics she used to see dem...

[dhal]

could somebody please tell me: how do you move on after a breakup? :oops:

daz a whole next katha....

[Scorpio]

Once you fall in love with someone, they will always have a special room in your heart, even after you break up. You just have to accept that, and work on building a bigger, better room in your heart for someone new (ah not saying to jump right into a new relationship, eh)

Often, we either dwell too much on a person after we break up, or we try too hard to erase the person from our hearts and minds. Neither of those approaches works.

dais my 2 cents (USD) :D

[KFCSpicy]

Moving on from a break up? Just take it one day at a time and avoid the going back. Get your closure and move on time eventually dulls every pain.

[Falcon]

Gimmeh 600 pounds sterling and ah go send yuh an autographed photo of meh :D

Wait, nuh, how Falcon allowing yuh to advertise on the forum so ?

Maybe bec yuh praise him up in yuh post earlier ? :D

now that you no(sic) the secret, fall eeeen!

[KFCSpicy]

^^^shaking meh head at this blatant blackmail/bribery dread :shock:

[Wicked]

when u see the person, and is like u looking at a stranger..u feel nothing...

[Falcon]

^^^shaking meh head at this blatant blackmail/bribery dread :shock:
trying to hustle some work before 1.30.......need to go mow lawn before the rain.......yuh see the forecast? Might not have the chance (rain + temp) to do this before winter!!!!!

[vaio]

could somebody please tell me: how do you move on after a breakup? :oops:

Well first of all, be prepared for some serious heartache....then you gotta take one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, until you get to one day at a time.....after many, many days it starts to ease...but it does go away...after a long time....it may seem like eternity but in fact it may just be a few weeks... :D

[serenity]

could somebody please tell me: how do you move on after a breakup? :oops:

Well first of all, be prepared for some serious heartache....then you gotta take one minute at a time, then one hour at a time, until you get to one day at a time.....after many, many days it starts to ease...but it does go away...after a long time....it may seem like eternity but in fact it may just be a few weeks... :D

Thats it right there. One day at a time. Thats all u can really do.

[Silky]

a few weeks? it's been 2 months and I'm still heartbroken!

[KFCSpicy]

boo time is immaterial u have to want to move on. You have to say to your self "Self...I eh planning on dwelling in self pity and regret and wallowing in loneliness for the rest of meh very young days...so snap out of it" You and self go out, have a laugh with your mates, get active, eventually u will be in the middle of something and realise oh...him! right! It will not stop you feeling hurt but u need to stop wallowing Silky.

Life goes on.