How do you know he/she is the 'One'?

[vaio]

How do you know that the person you choose is the one you wanna be with for the rest of your life??

The one you want to wake up to each day, grow old with - even when all them teeth fall out :mrgreen: and baldness sets in, have children with and go through life ups and downs?

[Solachica]

:D
I don't know.
I haven't reached tht point yet.
:?

[vaio]

hmmm :geek: :?:

[serenity]

Just ask yuh mother and she will tell yuh if dais the one. ;)
Provided u've reached a certain level of maturity, u can usually guage the value of someone in your life and whether they would make a good life partner for u.
I dont get the whole going around for ten years thing. I figure if after a year u dont know if that's the one, then they're probably not. Like they say in that dumb show my sister watches - Next!

[sheppy]

Your sister watches Next? :lol:

anyhow.....I think the ultimate test to know if the person is 'the one' is (not ask yuh mudder :lol: i swear eh! wow!) to try everybody else first...den use method of elimination :lol: ROFL

ok seriously...when you know your relationship is more than 'just love' or even lust...you share the same core values and goals and you can look 20 years down the road to the best of times and worst of times..and still think that person would stand by you..and you by them...
if you know that you can always work it out...whatever comes your way...and when gravity has had his say...he/she still has a personality and can make a contribution to the enrichment of your lives....
when she puts on 40lbs after the first kid...and ur belly honking the horn in the car...you're sleep deprived and over worked, underpaid and can't seem to take a step forward...and all you have to depend on is her or him to make it through the day....u know they'll be there...

[Scorpio]

Been asking myself that question for a while now... :|

[Solachica]

Been asking myself that question for a while now... :|
I just don't bother anymore. 8-)

[vaio]

we all have to do this at some point in our lives...sometimes we think s/he is the one, other times - we may wonder...

[Solachica]

Vaio you are still newly wed. How did you know?

[vaio]

how did you know i am still a newly wed..? Anyways, i married my best friend - the only person i felt i cld tell everything to - dreams, hopes, fears, having not to worry about how i come across, not have to feel i need to dress up to look good for him, although i do anyways... :D ... we have so much respect for each other...

we r different in so many ways, yet so similar in a lot...i was scared at first but now i know that i have found my soul mate...the person who will be there after i have gained those extra pounds :)

Honestly, its such a great feeling...

[sheppy]

The Wedding Singer
Grow old with you - Adam Sandler

wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.




awwwwwwwwww :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
:roll: :lol:

[serenity]

^^^ :lol:
Sheppy, why I get the feeling u watch that movie more than once?

[KFCSpicy]

^^^scary as hell all this romanticism. I think you just know, and I agree with Vaio...you gotta marry yuh best friend or at least he/she must be a darn great friend to you first. Love and all is tested over time so nothing is for certain. It's when the love is tested and goes through the fire and turns into a diamond then you will know u have done the right thing.

For some it takes the first look/kiss/romp and for others they are still seeking. I believe that some loves are for a lifetime but then some are not meant to be lasting. Are these any less rewarding? My ex who is now dead, was my first love. I hated his guts by the end but I realised that I was in love with the child dread. I would not exchange that for anything in the world that feeling was beyond words.

Whether yuh get married or live together just enjoy it whilst it last is my take. :oops:

[vaio]

K, that is...sniff...sniff..

i agree- enjoy it whilst it last...

[Solachica]

I have some one who is my best friend and all tht vaio mentioned but just don't want to get married.
Maybe becos I have so much else to do and maybe its my family and the way they been treating me for the past few yrs becos of my choices.
How necessary is family approval?

[KFCSpicy]

It hurts if u don't get it but to put it crudely hun...who give yuh an orgasm when de night come? When yuh want kids who giving yuh? Kirpalanis'? When yuh get old who will yuh have as a constant loving companion? Yuh cuzzin freeda? Ah doh think so dread. So though it may hurt that yuh family eh approve, love yuh man and deal with yuh circumstances as they come along intelligently.

Unless yuh is one of dem lifetime movie women who arse harden and dey man is serial killers and dey doh listen to nooooobordee. then I say go brave. but even them lifetime weirdohs did thought that they family was just being nosy and nasty until they get murder up and thing and de movie about their lives come out. :shock: :?

[vaio]

I have some one who is my best friend and all tht vaio mentioned but just don't want to get married.
Maybe becos I have so much else to do and maybe its my family and the way they been treating me for the past few yrs becos of my choices.
How necessary is family approval?

Hey chica, initially i did not get my family's approval.. and believe me it hurt like hell...i cried all the time and feeling that they turned their backs on me was the worst feeling in the world... but its my life and at the end of it i may regret it for the rest of my life. i felt alone but i had confidence that they would come around..it took a little while...i know that i wanted my family to be part of my new life and for my hubby to know my family and become part of it as well...

If you are not ready then he shld understand esp as he is your best friend...but sometimes you just gotta make the decision and have faith that all will work out well....hey i am testament to that and i thank God every single that my life is sooo happy and filled with wonderful and caring ppl...

Btw...if your family don't come around initially... wait until the grandchild comes around...everything will be forgotten and that child will be the sparkle in their eyes as my son is right now... ;)

[Solachica]

:arrow:

[Silky]

Oh god....you all gonna make me cry now. :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:

[dhal]

i ask a fella dat once...he telll me dat yuh does jus no... :roll:

[Scorpio]

The Wedding Singer
Grow old with you - Adam Sandler

wanna make you smile whenever you're sad
Carry you around when your arthritis is bad
All I wanna do is grow old with you.
I'll get your medicine when your tummy aches.
Build you a fire if the furnace breaks
Oh it could be so nice, growin old with you.
I'll miss you, kiss you, give you my coat when you are cold.
Need you, feed you, and even let you hold the remote control.
So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink
Put you to bed when you've had too much to drink.
Oh I could be the man who grows old with you.


I don't remember that song ^^ from The Wedding Singer, but I remember this one :

Somebody Kill Me - Adam Sandler

You dont know how much i need you
while youre near me i dont feel blue
and when we kiss i know you need me too
i cant believe i found a love thats so pure and true
but it all was bull sh*t
it was a god damn joke
and when i think of you Linda
i hope you f***ing choke
i hope your glad with what youve done to me
i lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
you left me here all alone tears running constantly
oh somebody kill me please
somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
pretty pretty please
kill me!
i want to die!
put a bullet in my head

:D :D :D :D

[KFCSpicy]

^^^ :x :x :roll:

[vaio]

hmmmmm??!! :roll:

[Scorpio]

Aye ppl, I didn't write de song, I just post it to make a point. :D

[vaio]

hmmmm :geek:

[KFCSpicy]

^^^he does reall vexerise me dread. Scorps no wonder yuh eh getting no nookie. :x

[Scorpio]

^^^ :( :cry: :|

[vaio]

oh oh...

[sheppy]

:lol: allyuh is kix yes...


All i know is you should never cite "cuz we in love" as the definitive reason for getting married.....
You should also give yourself a little test to see if your relationship is mature or immature..
i go post it jus now...

[sheppy]

In immature love it is said that the person who falls in love has low self-respect. He/she has little self-confidence and finds a lover to see all the qualities that he/she misses in themselves. The person does not love himself/herself, but loves the partner with great fervor. This is called immature love.

Mature love - If a person has very high self-respect and great self-confidence, he/she is supposed to be in mature love. This is called mature love because it is expected that such persons know what they are doing? They know why they love a particular person and what they expect from the love.

[sheppy]

Love & Romance

Romantic Love vs. Rational Love
by J. Bailey Molineux





Barbara has everything that could make for a satisfactory family life: a devoted husband and two healthy children. While her husband doesn't make enough money to keep her in luxury, he does have a secure, steady job that provides an adequate income for their needs. When the children start school, she has a good career to fall back upon for emotional satisfaction and financial protection.

Yet Barbara is not satisfied with her life. She is restless and bored, and yearns for more adventure. She freely admits, although not to her husband, that her commitment to her marriage is not that strong. She assumes that she and her husband would divorce if any serious problems arose between them rather than try to work those problems out. She also imagines she would do quite well on her own, even with two small children and a reduced income. One thing that still bothers Barbara is her attachment to an old boyfriend. She has not seen or heard from him for years but she still thinks about him. Theirs had been a prolonged and stormy relationship in which each was very dependent upon the other, but she still misses the passion of it. She realizes, however, that it never would have lasted if they had been married. Politically and socially, humankind's struggle has always been between the interests of the individual and the interests of the group, with the pendulum of change swinging back and forth between these two extremes, Although neither extreme is satisfactory, the pendulum appears to be approaching the individualistic extreme today in America as evidenced by the dropping away of community support for marriage. If people like Barbara experience problems in marriage or find they are no longer in love, they assume they can get out of their marriages and find happiness else*where.

*There are two kinds of love called by various names: healthy versus unhealthy, mature versus immature or romantic versus rational. Barbara believes in romantic love, and because she no longer finds it in her marriage, she may be denying herself the chance to find a healthier, longer lasting type of rational love with her husband.

Romantic love is based upon pleasure and passion. It is rooted in the self and not the other because it is the emotional high it gives that is paramount and not the needs and feelings of the other.

In rational love, passion and pleasure are important but not paramount. It is equally rooted in the needs of the self and the other. In its ideal form, rational love arrives at a point after many years of commitment and struggle at which the needs of the other become as important as the needs of the self.

Romantic love is time limited. The passion usually burns itself out in a few short months or years. When that happens, the believer in romantic love may then try to rediscover it with someone else. Life then becomes a futile search for a continuous emotional high. Based upon commitment and cognizant of the needs of the other, rational love lasts longer than romantic love, perhaps even a lifetime! Although never reaching the high of romantic love, rational love can result in an increasingly satisfactory sex life between a husband and a wife. Sex can become better with each year of marriage as trust, familiarity and fondness are deepened.

Romantic love is based upon an idealized, unrealistic vision of the other. Clouded by passion, it either glosses over the faults of the other or assumes they will be changed with time. Rational love is more honest and realistic. It beholds the other objectively and critically yet still exclaims "I love you."

Romantic love can be a function of unresolved childhood problems. It may seek the fusion of the original mother-child relationship that leaves the child feeling completely safe, secure and protected but helpless. *Rational love is based more upon maturity and independence. Although able to depend upon the other when appropriate, people who are rationally in love can also stand on their own emotionally. Because it depends upon the maintenance of an emotional high, romantic love fears change, growth and aging as threats to its existence. Rational love welcomes change as an opportunity to achieve greater intimacy and to grow together in life, not apart.

Since television, movies and Madison Avenue bombard our young people with messages about the glories of romantic love for the attainment of happiness, perhaps we adults should be telling them they are being duped.

# # # # #

Posted: May 21, 2003
About The Author / Credits: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.
Web Site: Book: Loving Isn't Easy

[vaio]

Love & Romance

Romantic Love vs. Rational Love
by J. Bailey Molineux





Barbara has everything that could make for a satisfactory family life: a devoted husband and two healthy children. While her husband doesn't make enough money to keep her in luxury, he does have a secure, steady job that provides an adequate income for their needs. When the children start school, she has a good career to fall back upon for emotional satisfaction and financial protection.

Yet Barbara is not satisfied with her life. She is restless and bored, and yearns for more adventure. She freely admits, although not to her husband, that her commitment to her marriage is not that strong. She assumes that she and her husband would divorce if any serious problems arose between them rather than try to work those problems out. She also imagines she would do quite well on her own, even with two small children and a reduced income. One thing that still bothers Barbara is her attachment to an old boyfriend. She has not seen or heard from him for years but she still thinks about him. Theirs had been a prolonged and stormy relationship in which each was very dependent upon the other, but she still misses the passion of it. She realizes, however, that it never would have lasted if they had been married. Politically and socially, humankind's struggle has always been between the interests of the individual and the interests of the group, with the pendulum of change swinging back and forth between these two extremes, Although neither extreme is satisfactory, the pendulum appears to be approaching the individualistic extreme today in America as evidenced by the dropping away of community support for marriage. If people like Barbara experience problems in marriage or find they are no longer in love, they assume they can get out of their marriages and find happiness else*where.

*There are two kinds of love called by various names: healthy versus unhealthy, mature versus immature or romantic versus rational. Barbara believes in romantic love, and because she no longer finds it in her marriage, she may be denying herself the chance to find a healthier, longer lasting type of rational love with her husband.

Romantic love is based upon pleasure and passion. It is rooted in the self and not the other because it is the emotional high it gives that is paramount and not the needs and feelings of the other.

In rational love, passion and pleasure are important but not paramount. It is equally rooted in the needs of the self and the other. In its ideal form, rational love arrives at a point after many years of commitment and struggle at which the needs of the other become as important as the needs of the self.

Romantic love is time limited. The passion usually burns itself out in a few short months or years. When that happens, the believer in romantic love may then try to rediscover it with someone else. Life then becomes a futile search for a continuous emotional high. Based upon commitment and cognizant of the needs of the other, rational love lasts longer than romantic love, perhaps even a lifetime! Although never reaching the high of romantic love, rational love can result in an increasingly satisfactory sex life between a husband and a wife. Sex can become better with each year of marriage as trust, familiarity and fondness are deepened.

Romantic love is based upon an idealized, unrealistic vision of the other. Clouded by passion, it either glosses over the faults of the other or assumes they will be changed with time. Rational love is more honest and realistic. It beholds the other objectively and critically yet still exclaims "I love you."

Romantic love can be a function of unresolved childhood problems. It may seek the fusion of the original mother-child relationship that leaves the child feeling completely safe, secure and protected but helpless. *Rational love is based more upon maturity and independence. Although able to depend upon the other when appropriate, people who are rationally in love can also stand on their own emotionally. Because it depends upon the maintenance of an emotional high, romantic love fears change, growth and aging as threats to its existence. Rational love welcomes change as an opportunity to achieve greater intimacy and to grow together in life, not apart.

Since television, movies and Madison Avenue bombard our young people with messages about the glories of romantic love for the attainment of happiness, perhaps we adults should be telling them they are being duped.

# # # # #

Posted: May 21, 2003
About The Author / Credits: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.
Web Site: Book: Loving Isn't Easy


I read this before - i think it was somewhere in Psychology..i'd found it to be very interesting and thought provoking... it gives a clear understanding of the types of love...

[serenity]

Wow..thanks sheppy. Good stuff.
Hmmm...it look like ah better sign up for some counseling sessions yes. :oops:

[Scorpio]

^^^ honestly, I didn't write it.

[vaio]

if yuh did, write something else...

[Scorpio]

^^ lmao :D

[vaio]

:)

[lexbarker]

If the shoe fits properly and the cow is giving enough milk, that is definitely the one. Romance will come later.

[vaio]

:o

[KFCSpicy]

he is a man Vaio...what yuh did really expeck lexxy to say? :( Sigh see how dey does show dey handicapped behaviour?

[Scorpio]

^^^ K, why yuh tryin to stir up trouble so, eh ?

[KFCSpicy]

:cry: MOI? I am soooooooooooooooooo innocent here of any wrong doing :twisted: it eh funny.

But men does ack dohtish bard so what yuh want meh to say? hee hee hee :lol:

[vaio]

he is a man Vaio...what yuh did really expeck lexxy to say? :( Sigh see how dey does show dey handicapped behaviour?

yea ah shl have known :(

[lexbarker]

Here is a nice storey for you women living in dream-world:

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a
woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance
is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of
the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may
choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the
next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first
floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

”That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and
Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help
with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the
sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on
this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible
to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store
just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

[sheppy]

where dat wife store???

i want to know what on d 3rd floor...

[vaio]

:x

[bluenote492000]

From The Diary of A Mad Black Woman

"I love you"

"And how do you know that?"

"I carry you in my spirit. I pray for you more than I pray for myself. And if you're away for more than an hour, I can't stop thinkin about ya! And your smile, when you smile, my world is alright."

[Scorpio]

What was life like before Craigslist? Forget apartment searches and second-hand sofas, Craigslist has given us the opportunity to look into the raw and terrifying human condition. This posting, about a girl wondering where she can find a man who makes at least 500k a year in New York, was sent around the office to shock and disbelief. But the genius response to the post made everyone realize that, when it all comes down to it, marriage is just a business deal.

The Post:
What am I doing wrong?
Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly
beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy. I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.
Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200
- 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms -What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings -Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?
- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out?
Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way.
Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it.
I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

The Response:
I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament. Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I see it.
Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't be getting any more beautiful!
So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!
So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.
Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful" as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.
By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.
With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way. Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

[Scorpio]

^^^ I don't normally have post like that, but I think this one was worthwhile. :D

[vaio]

interesting...ah have to think abt this one before i make another comment :D

[sheppy]

Man two sayings come immediately to mind...
doh hang yuh hat where yuh hand cyah reach....
and yuh get what yuh pay for...

[KFCSpicy]

he was damn right. He answer she honestly and from a man's perspective. A business man's perspective also. She is a commodity and she has depreciating values so what she really really worth dread? She like nissan sunny. Not me nah love meh when ah eh wearing no make-up and 40 years down de line when yuh still find meh attractive then ah go be certain about yuh. :D

[Scorpio]

K, a bueaty like you don't need no make-up, you have so much to offer that even when dem assets yuh have start go south, yuh go still have all dem men dem runnin yuh down. :D

[lexbarker]

She is just another Gold-digger. To neutralize her depreciationg asset, every year she gets older he has to look at her 1 foot further. So when she reaches 40 he will be looking at his love at leat 10 feet away. At 50 she still looks good 20 feet away, even with all the putty filling the cracks over her face.

[KFCSpicy]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww scorps pookieeeeeeeeeee woookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D yuh tuh sweet. But my tots tots dem is 34b and that is on a good day...i been 34 b since my mother decided i needed bras...mind u they eh go droop for a long long time but i still does well bra dem up dread, jess call meh perky paula ;)

[lexbarker]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww scorps pookieeeeeeeeeee woookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D yuh tuh sweet. But my tots tots dem is 34b and that is on a good day...i been 34 b since my mother decided i needed bras...mind u they eh go droop for a long long time but i still does well bra dem up dread, jess call meh perky paula ;)
Glad to know that you have been putting them to good use because if you don't use them they would dry up and soon they would be touching your navel.

[Scorpio]

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww scorps pookieeeeeeeeeee woookieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D yuh tuh sweet. But my tots tots dem is 34b and that is on a good day...i been 34 b since my mother decided i needed bras...mind u they eh go droop for a long long time but i still does well bra dem up dread, jess call meh perky paula ;)

^^ When a woman have dem kinda talks, dais how yuh does know she is de one.. :D

talk done !!!

[KFCSpicy]

two ah all yuh need a hug dread...especially LExxy De Exxy ;)

[Scorpio]

K, I done get some hug up for de day already, but ah will welcome some more from yuh anytime. :D

[KFCSpicy]

ah find yuh being greedy. yuh lucky yuh not in the uk with me yuh would not have had time to appreciate dimples in cheeks.

[lexbarker]

two ah all yuh need a hug dread...especially LExxy De Exxy ;)
Thanks for your hug KFC. I wish I could say like Scopio that we have a thing going but we outa sync. First I have a big belly in addition to my bald head. Second, you are already an over the hill spring chicken.

[KFCSpicy]

well yuh know men wid tastes for spring chicken have names and does get jail sentences? ;) I earn my 34 yrs and I am proud of it...men who make women think that being young and looking young is the end all and be all of their existence are shallow and quite frankly scary. Just remember it have names for men who like dey chicken as chicks...it rhymes wid file.

[Scorpio]

yuh lucky yuh not in the uk with me yuh would not have had time to appreciate dimples in cheeks.

K, if yuh see dem dimples for truth eh, even you might want this girl. :D

[KFCSpicy]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww :shock:

[Scorpio]

^^^Come on, K, don't act like yuh never thought about it.

[KFCSpicy]

lmaoooooooooo only when ah see Angelina Jolie dread :oops:

[Scorpio]

^^^ :? ok, ah was only joking dey, but now yuh have meh wondering.. :o

[KFCSpicy]

:D :? ummm

[Scorpio]

^^^ :? :o :shock:

[KFCSpicy]

Wah? steupseeeeee :( :? :oops:

[vaio]

lmaoooooooooo only when ah see Angelina Jolie dread :oops:

:o :o ...but she is hott! :lol:

[KFCSpicy]

:D seee??

[vaio]

:mrgreen:

[Scorpio]

lmaoooooooooo only when ah see Angelina Jolie dread :oops:

:o :o ...but she is hott! :lol:

:D

[Solachica]

:mrgreen:

[vaio]

how everybody silent so.... :?

[KFCSpicy]

Vaio yuh doh wuk? Whey is yuh office manager number...let meh call dem and ummm :? ...talk to dem about something dey. :D

[vaio]

aye i in charge for the next 3 weeks...the bigger bosses upstairs...they ain't know nothing.... :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

[KFCSpicy]

Gimmeh some Bourbon biscuit, three doubles hold de pepper and 3 sada wid bhaji and a Red Solo or ah go tell on yuh tail :evil:

[vaio]

how yuh want it...fedEx?? :mrgreen:

[KFCSpicy]

of course...and throw een some Royal Castle family meal wid three fries and pepper...some KFC cole slaw and some biscuits. I good.

[vaio]

yuh go send some pounds to buy dat nah :mrgreen: ..yuh ent know how expensive things are here...oh gosh and the exch rate for pounds is $13.25 to one pound!!! Then i will fix you up!! :mrgreen: :mrgreen:

[sheppy]

buh KFC why u always askin if ppl doh wuk...u does be on dis forum juss as much as anybody else :twisted:
(ok ah kno ah faalin...buh is a forum ur conversation is my conversation :lol:)

[KFCSpicy]

lmaooooooooooooooooooo I umm :? doing research on forums :? and I needs to be on here for research purposes only :?

(dat is de bess lie ah cud come up wid on such short notice)

Ah fine all dese unemployed people ^^^^ does be reallll online so dat going down in meh research chapter 4 "what do unemployed trinis do during de day when I wukking hard hard hardly..ah mean hard" :lol:

[vaio]

is ok K, all ah we does wuk hard... :D

[KFCSpicy]

ah shame fuh all yuh eh kno :(

[vaio]

oh gosh, yuh shld put that in the ashamed thread.. :mrgreen:

[KFCSpicy]

:D :D :mrgreen:

[Scorpio]

I need to bring this thread back on topic, so let me say this, I am starting to think that dimples may be the key to knowing that he/she is the one...it worked for me :D

[Aurea]

Seriously, I have read some of stuff u all wrote - but still don't know. I look at some of my family members and they divorced and go through some things that I can't even think about. The thing is they thought that person is the one, and now they hate each other. I don't want that happening to me, so I basically try not to get to serious with anyone. I did once and d worse thing happened. One thing I've heard said, is that in a relationship one person likes/loves the other one more. How true is that?

Aurea

Do I sound like a real confused person? Ah hope not :)

[vaio]

if you are confused at some time...its because its only natural...we all are at some point or another...

When you feel that person is the one ...we can never be sure....things change, ppl change and circumstances change...sometimes you have different things you want after a while...we can only hope that we made the right decision wrt that person...

You just can't give up though... :geek:

[sheppy]

in a relationship one person likes/loves the other one more. How true is that?

I think this is quite true....emotion is not scientific, nor can it be measured scientifically. (though it is argued that 'true love' is not an emotion) One may be perceived to 'love' another more, but it may be the same amount of love just manifested in different ways. (u cook, i clean, u

Alternatively, one person may be at a different stage in their 'love' or relationship. It takes some people more time to realize that they do or do not love another person....this cud be due to the initial euphoria of a new relationship..(or booty) or some people just take longer to fall in love....this mismatch in 'love levels' can cause one's priorities to be assigned accordingly... e.g the madly in love puts that person first above all and everything else...the mildly in love puts the person first..sometimes...
This can be read as lack of reciprocation and lead to problems....etc etc...

[Scorpio]

People generally get together for all he wrong reasons, that is the real problem.

[KFCSpicy]

^^^ ah hope u eh talkin from present experience eh? CAuse ah go ride for Dimplez

[Scorpio]

We'll see when I get back, K, ah will let yuh know if to strap on yuh gunbelt. :?

[KFCSpicy]

yayyyyyyyyyyyy! :D

[Scorpio]

Love & Romance

Romantic Love vs. Rational Love
by J. Bailey Molineux





Barbara has everything that could make for a satisfactory family life: a devoted husband and two healthy children. While her husband doesn't make enough money to keep her in luxury, he does have a secure, steady job that provides an adequate income for their needs. When the children start school, she has a good career to fall back upon for emotional satisfaction and financial protection.

Yet Barbara is not satisfied with her life. She is restless and bored, and yearns for more adventure. She freely admits, although not to her husband, that her commitment to her marriage is not that strong. She assumes that she and her husband would divorce if any serious problems arose between them rather than try to work those problems out. She also imagines she would do quite well on her own, even with two small children and a reduced income. One thing that still bothers Barbara is her attachment to an old boyfriend. She has not seen or heard from him for years but she still thinks about him. Theirs had been a prolonged and stormy relationship in which each was very dependent upon the other, but she still misses the passion of it. She realizes, however, that it never would have lasted if they had been married. Politically and socially, humankind's struggle has always been between the interests of the individual and the interests of the group, with the pendulum of change swinging back and forth between these two extremes, Although neither extreme is satisfactory, the pendulum appears to be approaching the individualistic extreme today in America as evidenced by the dropping away of community support for marriage. If people like Barbara experience problems in marriage or find they are no longer in love, they assume they can get out of their marriages and find happiness else*where.

*There are two kinds of love called by various names: healthy versus unhealthy, mature versus immature or romantic versus rational. Barbara believes in romantic love, and because she no longer finds it in her marriage, she may be denying herself the chance to find a healthier, longer lasting type of rational love with her husband.

Romantic love is based upon pleasure and passion. It is rooted in the self and not the other because it is the emotional high it gives that is paramount and not the needs and feelings of the other.

In rational love, passion and pleasure are important but not paramount. It is equally rooted in the needs of the self and the other. In its ideal form, rational love arrives at a point after many years of commitment and struggle at which the needs of the other become as important as the needs of the self.

Romantic love is time limited. The passion usually burns itself out in a few short months or years. When that happens, the believer in romantic love may then try to rediscover it with someone else. Life then becomes a futile search for a continuous emotional high. Based upon commitment and cognizant of the needs of the other, rational love lasts longer than romantic love, perhaps even a lifetime! Although never reaching the high of romantic love, rational love can result in an increasingly satisfactory sex life between a husband and a wife. Sex can become better with each year of marriage as trust, familiarity and fondness are deepened.

Romantic love is based upon an idealized, unrealistic vision of the other. Clouded by passion, it either glosses over the faults of the other or assumes they will be changed with time. Rational love is more honest and realistic. It beholds the other objectively and critically yet still exclaims "I love you."

Romantic love can be a function of unresolved childhood problems. It may seek the fusion of the original mother-child relationship that leaves the child feeling completely safe, secure and protected but helpless. *Rational love is based more upon maturity and independence. Although able to depend upon the other when appropriate, people who are rationally in love can also stand on their own emotionally. Because it depends upon the maintenance of an emotional high, romantic love fears change, growth and aging as threats to its existence. Rational love welcomes change as an opportunity to achieve greater intimacy and to grow together in life, not apart.

Since television, movies and Madison Avenue bombard our young people with messages about the glories of romantic love for the attainment of happiness, perhaps we adults should be telling them they are being duped.

# # # # #

Posted: May 21, 2003
About The Author / Credits: J. Bailey Molineux, a psychologist with Adult and Child Counseling, has incorporated many of his articles in a book, Loving Isn't Easy, Isbn 1587410419, sold through bookstores everywhere or available directly from Selfhelpbooks.com. Copyright 2002, J. Bailey Molineux and Selfhelpbooks.com, all rights reserved. This article may be reprinted but must include authors copyright and website hyperlinks.
Web Site: Book: Loving Isn't Easy

I re-read this thread bec I remembered this particular post, and I didn't respond to it the first time bec I was like ---> :roll: but now, I am thinking, there is something to this stuff, however......

I think I have already been programmed to believe that anything less than a fairytale come true kind of relationship would amount to settling....I am just terrified of settling bec I just know I would always want more; I don't want to be unfair to anyone, I can't lie about the way i feel, sometimes I really wish i could.

Don't know if this is because of unresolved childhood problems or not, but I know how I feel, and I just can't ignore those feelings.

[Solachica]

When people say the things you have maybe you haven't met the right one yet.or you did and lost her.
Or so I've been told. :roll:

[Scorpio]

^^^ I wish I knew, Sola....I wish I knew.... :cry:

[vaio]

sometimes we never know.... :|

[Solachica]

So is a chance we have to take then vaio?

[serenity]

Just check by the pundit.

[vaio]

^^i guess so sola....

[Scorpio]

^^^ that's when life gets complicated. :(

[vaio]

but you enjoy the ride scorps....the ups and downs...

[Scorpio]

^^ kinda hard to enjoy the downs though :(

[vaio]

but it makes the ups all the more better...how can you enjoy the ups if you got no downs.....

[Scorpio]

:D True

[vaio]

:ugeek:

[Scorpio]

You're wise vaio, maybe you deserve all that money for no work you're getting :D

[vaio]

i think i deserve more......... :ugeek:

[Scorpio]

clearly ;)

[vaio]

CLEARLY.... :ugeek:

[Scorpio]

^^^ you deserve extra for your modesty too.. :roll:

[vaio]

:mrgreen: :mrgreen: if you insist..

[Scorpio]

:roll:

[vaio]

don't be rollin up your eyes on me..... :twisted:

[Scorpio]

Just bec K offline and yuh acting like a badjane, yuh see how allyuh stop..

[vaio]

i can be and act like whoever i please... :twisted:

[Scorpio]

^^^ Can you be Brittney Spears ?

[Solachica]

But scorps you does real depend on KFC to back you up. U making fite and calling she name. :roll:

[KFCSpicy]

all yuh cud beat him like a ah bowl ah eggs... me and he done today at lunch time. :cry:

[Scorpio]

But scorps you does real depend on KFC to back you up. U making fite and calling she name. :roll:

Dais bec I am a lover, not a fighter :D

[KFCSpicy]

lmao mamagism :lol:

[Scorpio]

yuh just cant win with some ppl eh :)

[Solachica]

:lol: :lol:
Yuh win some yuh lose some :P

[KFCSpicy]

but what de? :shock: she change avatar ahgain? :x

[Solachica]

but what de? :shock: she change avatar ahgain? :x

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/aktion/action-smiley-075.gif
who yuh talking abt? :?

[Scorpio]

This could get ugly.. :o

[vaio]

^^^ Can you be Brittney Spears ?

i can be anyone.... ;)

[KFCSpicy]

sola bumcee in dat smiley like too dounce on ah branch...ewwww

[Solachica]

:?
Yuh real watching it. :P

[Solachica]

Double post :twisted:

[vaio]

sola bumcee in dat smiley like too dounce on ah branch...ewwww

:lol: :lol:

[KFCSpicy]

:roll: ah need a puke smiley....somebody lend meh one nah :(

[vaio]

http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/wuerg/vomit-smiley-007.gif

[Ali]

^Aye ah fella on d boat vomit just like that sunday no joke :lol:

[vaio]

:? :? ..it was you nah...

[Solachica]

:?
ali yuh was real watching. or was it u in truth :?

[vaio]

sola it was him.

[Ali]

never!!http://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/sauer/angry-smiley-010.gif! i never vomit on a boat in meh life ......my stomach hard like stone.......i doh even take tablets b4 goin on d boat :mrgreen:

[vaio]

you did the other thing then.... :?:

[Solachica]

:lol: :lol:
i was just abt to ask the same thing vaio....if he was the 1 rear ending the boat :? :lol:

[Ali]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!

yuh mad o wat .........if i de do dat i will never ever even mention it!!!!!!!

[Solachica]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[vaio]

ALI>>>>>>>>>stop tellin tales..... :lol: :lol:

[Scorpio]

^^^spam :x

[Ali]

whateveeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrhttp://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/aktion/action-smiley-027.gif

[vaio]

:? :?

[Solachica]

whateveeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrhttp://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/aktion/action-smiley-027.gif
ali yuh showing we how yuh did it on de boat? :?

[Scorpio]

^^^ Please don't :shock:

[vaio]

whateveeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrhttp://www.clicksmilies.com/s1106/aktion/action-smiley-027.gif
ali yuh showing we how yuh did it on de boat? :?


ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww :x

[Ali]

http://www.websmileys.com/sm/obscene/eck05.gif

[vaio]

to get back this thread on topic......

how do you know.....your heart tells you...

[KFCSpicy]

Well I does know he is de one because that smiley ali using boomcee looking like a fortune cookie gone wrong...so this is my take on de topic :?

[vaio]

ok then

[Scorpio]

I know she is de one when she could spam and still stay on de topic at the same time like K ^^^^ :D

[Ali]

to get back this thread on topic......

how do you know.....your heart tells you...

:lol: :lol: :lol: ROFLMAO

[vaio]

I know she is de one when she could spam and still stay on de topic at the same time like K ^^^^ :D

8-)

[Trinique]

don't listen to your heart, listen to you head, de heart does lie too bard :roll:

[Solachica]

Yuh heart over rated and does just pump yuh blood.
I agree with trinique. Use yuh brain.

[KFCSpicy]

doh listen to none of them dread....use muddah corn husk if u want to know if the person is de one. ;)

[Solachica]

K how they go get mother corn husk?

Some people does decide who is 'the one' when they get pregnant and have shot gun wedding. :roll:

[vaio]

@ trinique...sometimes your heart has the right answer which throws logic out the window....

[Scorpio]

de heart does lie too bard

That is de first time I hear that one !!! :?

[vaio]

^me too...

[Scorpio]

:D
I don't know.
I haven't reached tht point yet.
:?


Sola, just out of curiousity, 3 years after this post yuh reach tht point yet ? :p

[Scorpio]

.....I think the ultimate test to know if the person is 'the one' is (not ask yuh mudder :lol: i swear eh! wow!) to try everybody else first...den use method of elimination :lol: ROFL

...

This was a funny response. :)

[Scorpio]

ok seriously...when you know your relationship is more than 'just love' or even lust...you share the same core values and goals and you can look 20 years down the road to the best of times and worst of times..and still think that person would stand by you..and you by them...
if you know that you can always work it out...whatever comes your way...and when gravity has had his say...he/she still has a personality and can make a contribution to the enrichment of your lives....
when she puts on 40lbs after the first kid...and ur belly honking the horn in the car...you're sleep deprived and over worked, underpaid and can't seem to take a step forward...and all you have to depend on is her or him to make it through the day....u know they'll be there...

After reading this one 3 years ago, I decided love was not a good thing. Seriously !!!:blink

[Scorpio]

^^^I think you just know, and I agree with Vaio...you gotta marry yuh best friend or at least he/she must be a darn great friend to you first. Love and all is tested over time so nothing is for certain. It's when the love is tested and goes through the fire and turns into a diamond then you will know u have done the right thing.




Ah yes, the wisdom of my former forum wife. :)

[Scorpio]

from The Wedding Singer,

Somebody Kill Me - Adam Sandler

You dont know how much i need you
while youre near me i dont feel blue
and when we kiss i know you need me too
i cant believe i found a love thats so pure and true
but it all was bull s**t
it was a god damn joke
and when i think of you Linda
i hope you f***ing choke
i hope your glad with what youve done to me
i lay in bed all day long feeling melancholy
you left me here all alone tears running constantly
oh somebody kill me please
somebody kill me please
I'm on my knees
pretty pretty please
kill me!
i want to die!
put a bullet in my head

:D :D :D :D

So this was my contribution to the thread :o

[Scorpio]

In immature love it is said that the person who falls in love has low self-respect. He/she has little self-confidence and finds a lover to see all the qualities that he/she misses in themselves. The person does not love himself/herself, but loves the partner with great fervor. This is called immature love.

Mature love - If a person has very high self-respect and great self-confidence, he/she is supposed to be in mature love. This is called mature love because it is expected that such persons know what they are doing? They know why they love a particular person and what they expect from the love.

This makes sense ... I think :dontknow:

[Scorpio]

Ok, old thread but pertinient question still, any new prespectives from posters who were not around 3 years ago when this thread came out ?

[Scorpio]

if you are confused at some time...its because its only natural...we all are at some point or another...

When you feel that person is the one ...we can never be sure....things change, ppl change and circumstances change...sometimes you have different things you want after a while...we can only hope that we made the right decision wrt that person...

:

Not very encouraging, is it :rolleyes:

[letric]

This makes sense ... I think :dontknow:

#
No man can know a woman as much as he can love her.

[Scorpio]

#
No man can know a woman as much as he can love her.

So the "knowing" and the "loving" can be measured in the same way ? Or would this be comparing apples to oranges ?

[guyguy]

Scorpio,
One can never be sure. There is no scientific litmus test that validates and verifies if he/she is the one. If you feel that she/he is the one, then you roll the dice and take your chances. Trying to ensure that one isn't making a mistake is almost impossible. Unless one makes a conscientious effort to ensure peace, tranquility, harmony, and like-thinking after getting married, the chances of failure are very high. If one continually questions himself/herself if he/she is the one, then that person ends up all by himself/herself.

Conventional thinking is that Love ensures a successful marriage. However, “Love does not make a marriage; love leads to marriage. Struggles, obstacles, determination, commitment and loyalty... THAT'S what makes a marriage.”

[Scorpio]

Scorpio,
If you feel that she/he is the one, then you roll the dice and take your chances.


You're a wise old man inno guyguy, I agree with your comments in the post #177, especially the redacted bit I quoted above. :)

[Amelia]

Firstly, I dont think there is 'THE ONE".
I believe u can make a marriage and build a life with anyone.
There is no preordained person that u must find or u are doomed to a lifetime of loneliness.
If that were the case then all marriages would be blissful. But ask any married person - its about hard work and a committment.
So, pick one, any one and make it work.
The ques is how do u decide who the pick ie u have an active role in ur own destiny than waiting for 'the one' to show up.
I think when u start asking urself if this is 'the one' it shows a sense of readiness in your mind to settle down.
Otherwise u wont even go there mentally.
If u are mature enough to recognise that u share similar value systems and the logistics of it is compatible, then there u go - 'the one' in the making.
By logistics i mean practical things like : if u want kids, how many kids, what religion will u follow, spending habits, lifestyle goals, careeer goals etc.

[Mr Majik]

If the first time I fart in her presence leads her to giggles, she's a keeper.

If she farts in MY presence, she's the ONE!

[Chicabonita]

If the first time I fart in her presence leads her to giggles, she's a keeper.

If she farts in MY presence, she's the ONE!

:o

[Amelia]

^^ chica is not the one. lol

[Chicabonita]

^^ chica is not the one. lol

You bet I am not! :woot:

[Wayne]

If the first time I fart in her presence leads her to giggles, she's a keeper.

If she farts in MY presence, she's the ONE!

majik...........like yuh "tripping"on "scents"..................again?

[Scorpio]

If the first time I fart in her presence leads her to giggles, she's a keeper.

If she farts in MY presence, she's the ONE!

gross !! :eek:

[Mr Majik]

Ahh...yuh see de ting now...

I believe too many of us hold back to impress, or give an impression to, our potential mates. I am a guy who is real, and wants a woman who is real.

Farting just happens to be something that real people do.

(now...don't think I want my woman pooming and belching down the house 24/7...I just want her to know she doesn't have to pretend she doesn't have normal bodily functions around me)

[Scorpio]

Farting just happens to be something that real people do.


Gross people fart without concern for the discomfort their nastiness causes other around them.:mad:

[Wayne]

Ahh...yuh see de ting now...

I believe too many of us hold back to impress, or give an impression to, our potential mates. I am a guy who is real, and wants a woman who is real.

Farting just happens to be something that real people do.

(now...don't think I want my woman pooming and belching down the house 24/7...I just want her to know she doesn't have to pretend she doesn't have normal bodily functions around me)



Can It.....and Package It ................................... You cannot defeat an Idea.

[vaio]

Ok, old thread but pertinient question still, any new prespectives from posters who were not around 3 years ago when this thread came out ?

Scorpsy like yuh asking yuhself this question lately or what? Time to pull out that ring or what :wink:

[vaio]

Or not :s:

[Scorpio]

Scorpsy like yuh asking yuhself this question lately or what? Time to pull out that ring or what :wink:


No, I am not.

[Wayne]

Yuh on De Nile or in denial?

[Scorpio]

So me cant just dig up a old thread without people thinking there is more to it or wha ? :dontknow:

[vaio]

So me cant just dig up a old thread without people thinking there is more to it or wha ? :dontknow:

what was the reason for digging up then? lol

[Scorpio]

what was the reason for digging up then? lol

what was your reason for starting the thread in the first place ?

[vaio]

lol look how things does come to pass eh!


how did you know i am still a newly wed..? Anyways, i married my best friend - the only person i felt i cld tell everything to - dreams, hopes, fears, having not to worry about how i come across, not have to feel i need to dress up to look good for him, although i do anyways... :D ... we have so much respect for each other...

we r different in so many ways, yet so similar in a lot...i was scared at first but now i know that i have found my soul mate...the person who will be there after i have gained those extra pounds :)

Honestly, its such a great feeling...

[vaio]

what was your reason for starting the thread in the first place ?

Because i found THE ONE :)

[ebony02]

what was the reason for digging up then? lol

Please note that he has yet to answer your question but instead, answered the question with a question.


Vaio, great thread. I'll answer once I think about it some more, but, its one of those things where you just know. :)

[ebony02]

How do you know that the person you choose is the one you wanna be with for the rest of your life??

The one you want to wake up to each day, grow old with - even when all them teeth fall out :mrgreen: and baldness sets in, have children with and go through life ups and downs?

You know she/he is the one when he/she:

Is your best friend and closest confidante.
Is patient and kind with you and not quick to belittle, judge or put you down.
Takes the time to listen to you and wants to understand every intricate detail about you (your likes and dislikes, your fears, goals, etc.)
Makes you laugh.
Is not afraid to express their emotions and adoration for you and declare his/her love for you to the world.
Will both figuratively and literally take the clothes off their back to ensure that you are safe, protected, nurtured.
Will defend you.
Will love you, flaws and all. You can be yourself with that person, no pretense or games. Just you.
Uplifts you and encourages you.
Will sacrifice their needs for the sake of your needs.
Takes the time to remember the little things and little details and makes the effort to know that you are appreciated.
Is romantic and will make the effort to be romantic.


:D:D:D:D:D:D

[Ali]

You know she/he is the one when he/she:

Is your best friend and closest confidante.
Is patient and kind with you and not quick to belittle, judge or put you down.
Takes the time to listen to you and wants to understand every intricate detail about you (your likes and dislikes, your fears, goals, etc.)
Makes you laugh.
Is not afraid to express their emotions and adoration for you and declare his/her love for you to the world.
Will both figuratively and literally take the clothes off their back to ensure that you are safe, protected, nurtured.
Will defend you.
Will love you, flaws and all. You can be yourself with that person, no pretense or games. Just you.
Uplifts you and encourages you.
Will sacrifice their needs for the sake of your needs.
Takes the time to remember the little things and little details and makes the effort to know that you are appreciated.
Is romantic and will make the effort to be romantic.


http://www.missteacha.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/check-mark.bmp
...

[SilverEagle]

Utopian ideals have a way of disappointing.

[ebony02]

Just to personalize this:

I knew he was the one when he did the following:

1. We were walking on the sidewalk and I was walking on the side of traffic. He stopped in his tracks, switched positions, and added the words "I want you to be safe and protected."

2. He always wants to make sure I'm fed :rolleyes:lol:blush:. He's made and brought over food for me and on his way from work he asks if I have fruits to take with me for breakfast because he knows I only eat fruits for my breakfast. He'd rather go hungry than see me without, not that this has ever happened, lol.

3. He immediately told me of his intentions, no questions asked or guesswork. He knew what he wanted and told me he was willing to wait no matter what the trial or obstacle to ensure I be a part of his life.

4. He always wants to make sure I'm comfortable and asks me if I'm happy. He wants to know how I feel and asks what he can do to make sure that I'm content. If I'm happy, he's happy. :D

5. He is the kindest man I've come to known. He gives of himself, 1000% without asking for anything in return. It's hard to find such selfless and self-sacrifical individuals these days and he has certainly raised the bar for expectations.

6. I can be me around him. I mean truly be me. I am soo relaxed and at ease in his presence, even during my time of the month. He loves and takes care of me even when I have my worst mood swings or look my worst. He's always there for me.

All this to say that I think I've found the one for ME. Only time will tell but I'm happy I found him, or rather, he found me. It was a totally random chance meet, all because I decided to run to the grocery store last minute on a rainy Saturday night. I was on my way back home with my groceries in hand and he saw me. The rest as they say is....:blush::blush::blush:

[SilverEagle]

If it's too good to be true, it usually is. :)

[vaio]

If it's too good to be true, it usually is. :)

Maybe its not too good to be true but its good enough :)

[ebony02]

If it's too good to be true, it usually is. :)

You sound rather jaded. rofl

Can't say that I agree with you though. I also always thought the same until I met my current SO. There are some great guys out there. They do exist.

[SilverEagle]

Maybe its not too good to be true but its good enough :)

A distinct possibility. :)

[SilverEagle]

You sound rather jaded. rofl

Have I missed something? :)


Can't say that I agree with you though. I also always thought the same until I met my current SO. There are some great guys out there. They do exist.

Time will tell. :)

[guyguy]

You sound rather jaded. rofl

Can't say that I agree with you though. I also always thought the same until I met my current SO. There are some great guys out there. They do exist.Where is the real Ebbs, and what have you done with her?

[ebony02]

Where is the real Ebbs, and what have you done with her?

Still here, guyguy, just more....refined. rofl

[Solachica]

Ebbs sound on cloud 9 right now. :)

[vaio]

:D
I don't know.
I haven't reached tht point yet.
:?

sola, yuh reach yet?

[guyguy]

Still here, guyguy, just more....refined. roflYou were always "refined" Ebbs. I'm very happy for you.

[Solachica]

When yuh find the one then wht?

[vaio]

When yuh find the one then wht?

doh look for ah nex one :p

[SilverEagle]

A deputy essential...lol

[SilverEagle]

...to keep you livin' vital...:blink

[SilverEagle]

...If BOREDOM is a threat...:)

[vaio]

:eek: :eek:

ah will read about yuh in the papers SE :laugh:

[SilverEagle]

...or you start to regret...:o

[SilverEagle]

...ah deputy is what you MUST get...:woot:

[SilverEagle]

...no sweat. :thumbup:

[SilverEagle]

:eek: :eek:

ah will read about yuh in the papers SE :laugh:

Me? Not me. I does move incognito. :D

[Scorpio]

Because i found THE ONE :)

So yuh start this thread to show off on de rest ah we then ?

[vaio]

Yuh still ent ans meh question eh!

Nah I doh show off :p yuh always hear ppl say tht yes they found the ONE and then there are the others who don't believe in tht, it makes for interesting discussion :)

[miktay]

Just to personalize this:

I knew he was the one when he did the following:

1. We were walking on the sidewalk and I was walking on the side of traffic. He stopped in his tracks, switched positions, and added the words "I want you to be safe and protected."

2. He always wants to make sure I'm fed :rolleyes:lol:blush:. He's made and brought over food for me and on his way from work he asks if I have fruits to take with me for breakfast because he knows I only eat fruits for my breakfast. He'd rather go hungry than see me without, not that this has ever happened, lol.

3. He immediately told me of his intentions, no questions asked or guesswork. He knew what he wanted and told me he was willing to wait no matter what the trial or obstacle to ensure I be a part of his life.

4. He always wants to make sure I'm comfortable and asks me if I'm happy. He wants to know how I feel and asks what he can do to make sure that I'm content. If I'm happy, he's happy. :D

5. He is the kindest man I've come to known. He gives of himself, 1000% without asking for anything in return. It's hard to find such selfless and self-sacrifical individuals these days and he has certainly raised the bar for expectations.

6. I can be me around him. I mean truly be me. I am soo relaxed and at ease in his presence, even during my time of the month. He loves and takes care of me even when I have my worst mood swings or look my worst. He's always there for me.

All this to say that I think I've found the one for ME. Only time will tell but I'm happy I found him, or rather, he found me. It was a totally random chance meet, all because I decided to run to the grocery store last minute on a rainy Saturday night. I was on my way back home with my groceries in hand and he saw me. The rest as they say is....:blush::blush::blush:

Ebony...doh mean to burst ur bubble...eh..but...

u sure iza man u talking bout?

he sound more like a saint...

[Scorpio]

Yuh still ent ans meh question eh!

Nah I doh show off :p yuh always hear ppl say tht yes they found the ONE and then there are the others who don't believe in tht, it makes for interesting discussion :)

What question yuh want meh answer Vaio? Yuh does ask so much question I don't know which one yuh talkng about rofl

[vaio]

:rolleyes: why yuh dig up the ched?

[Scorpio]

^ Funny, I thought I answered that question ? Are you testing me to see if my story will change ? lol

[Wayne]

ebbs are you sure that a metamorphosis has not overcome your being?................maybe working all those late hours did it.

[Scorpio]

working all those late hours did it.

wayne, what are you suggesting ? Get your mind outta de gutter.:)

[vaio]

^ Funny, I thought I answered that question ? Are you testing me to see if my story will change ? lol

yuh never answer the question :s:

[Scorpio]

yuh never answer the question :s:

oh yeah, I think you are right.

[vaio]

oh yeah, I think you are right.

duh! :musicus:

[Wayne]

wayne, what are you suggesting ? Get your mind outta de gutter.:)

ebony 02 .......................the last time we "talked" on Chatbox..........you were working late at the office...........and the company car picked you up at a late hour,to safely return you to your home.......

I don't "suggest" nothing......................just ANSWER the question.

[Trinique]

I know how Ebbs feeling these days........I think I've also met the ONE too:)

is ah nice feeling oui lol

[Solachica]

:woot: thts great Trinique:thumbup:

[Wayne]

I am happy for you Trinique....................for me,you were "Born Too Late".....................LOL

[vaio]

great news trinique :)

[letric]

Love him and let him love you. Do you think anything
else under heavern really matters?
JB

[Trinique]

nope nothing under heaven really matters at this point........love is GRAND, when you're with the right person.

[J lindsay]

As mentioned in another thread, for me it was when I encountered and contnue to encounter both LOVE and LUST, in a woman that I respect and that makes me laugh. That just settled it altogether.:rolleyes:

[lexbarker]

You sound rather jaded. rofl

Can't say that I agree with you though. I also always thought the same until I met my current SO. There are some great guys out there. They do exist.

Ebbs, I am happy for you. I hope you treat this guy much better than some of your posts on TTOL.