After a random test for HIV/AIDS...

[KFCSpicy]

Between you and your significant other, you find out that this person is indeed positive with the virus but you aren't. What would you do? :?:

[lifehater]

Leave him........cause most likely he would have gotten the virus because he was cheating.

[dhal]

well it depends on the relationship doesnt it? if we together long and i love him and my life is with him, then i'd stay cuz while sex os great, theres more to a relationship than sex...if we now startin off an we not so tight yet, i'd leave. maybe thats bad of me. maybe its treating ppl with AIDS as less but it's what id do.

[vaio]

Leave him........cause most likely he would have gotten the virus because he was cheating.

agreed

[serenity]

Dependng on the value of the relationship there would be discussions on how he might have gotten the disease (if he doesnt already know); what this means for us as a couple; if he knew, why he didnt tell me; counseling for him/us. That would be a real blow though. Not sure how well a relationship can fare in the face of such news...there's the trauma of knowing your physical relationship changes and the reservations u may have about about even continuing that aspect of the relationship. That, coupled with knowing that sooner or later u would have to endure the pain of watching a loved one die. Oh gosh! Then there's the the aspect of friends and family passing judgment and ostrasising u...tough...

[sheppy]

If is a 'new' relationship...get the f**k outta dodge....

but seriously..if it is somebody you care about you should sit down and assess the relationship. Both the infected and the other person should learn about the disease, living with it, dying from it etc. and make a decision if you still want to be together...

i dunno but if i was the one with Aids..i dunno if i'd still wanna be in a relationship..i might just get so depressed i'd sell eveyrthing..buy a boat and sail off into the horizon.. rather than deal with the looks and whispering and eventual burden on other people etc...

[KFCSpicy]

well it depends on the relationship doesnt it? if we together long and i love him and my life is with him, then i'd stay cuz while sex os great, theres more to a relationship than sex...if we now startin off an we not so tight yet, i'd leave. maybe thats bad of me. maybe its treating ppl with AIDS as less but it's what id do.


Dhal ah tired tell yuh stop apologising for what or how you feel babes. I agree with you wholeheartedly though so far with your response... so let meh read de ress ah responses.

[KFCSpicy]

Ok as usual Serenity stated it honestly and heartfelt. Sheppy was funny and intelligently articulate as usual too, I agree with the new part and getting out, but isn't the person worth your time then too? Can't you apply the same principles of getting knowledge on the disease if you had prior intentions on being with this person?

So if the new one was the one for you would him having a disease which is treated so well these days that most people don't pass it on once they are treated for it and are conscious of protecting themselves (cause they have to worry about being re-infected with another strain of the virus too or from any disease that can further weaken their immune system) and of protecting their partner.

It's funny how Cancer can kill you...and has no cure also... but because it's not sexually transmitted its a welcomed sympathetic disease. What about Hepatitis C and every alphabet in the world? Dangerous more so cause they kill have no cure and can even be transmitted through sweat, or a dip in the pool and most times are symptomless...but is practically welcomed moreso than HIV/AIDS.

Human beings are so strange when it comes to anything to do with sex.

[KFCSpicy]

Always wonder about important topics never getting much attention but ask about britney sister making baby about 10 pages :roll:

[littleone]

sometimes we as humans just don't want to have to think about grave situations like this, i guess.

[KFCSpicy]

agreed 100% or is it that they think if they don't it won't happen to them? ;)

[skl]

Leave him........cause most likely he would have gotten the virus because he was cheating.

agreed

depends on how long you were together in the first place......he may have gotten before he met you......or he may be a junkie.



as for me if my SO was HIV positve AND I knew she hadnt gotten it through cheating , I'd stay....damn the concequences. Of course I dont have kids so I can make that choice.

[guyguy]

Leave him........cause most likely he would have gotten the virus because he was cheating.
What if he/she contracted the virus from a blood transfusion? What about those hospital workers who accidently come into contact with infected bodily fluids and contract the virus? What does one do then?

[dancerboy]

I would cease all sexual relations. Then i would try to find out how it was contracted. If i found out there was a third party involved, i would have to leave. DANCERBOY

[Scorpio]

Always wonder about important topics never getting much attention but ask about britney sister making baby about 10 pages :roll:


Sorry, K, I must admit it took me a while to actually open this thread. I guess I don't like to think about these morbid situations....

...anyway, I will attempt to answer this question without throwing up...

I not so desperate for punanny that I would knowingly go with somebody with AIDS, doh mind how much love ah might be in...condoms cheap and it even have de female version now (never saw one though).

I am very convicted in this because as I always say on this forum I am not casual about sex (well except that one time..damn those dimples). So why should I stick with a partner who got Aids from casual sex ?

And, as for blood transfusions, I think they screen blood now, don't they ?

[dhal]

^^^they do

[Peechingpang]

Dependng on the value of the relationship there would be discussions on how he might have gotten the disease (if he doesnt already know); what this means for us as a couple; if he knew, why he didnt tell me; counseling for him/us. That would be a real blow though. Not sure how well a relationship can fare in the face of such news...there's the trauma of knowing your physical relationship changes and the reservations u may have about about even continuing that aspect of the relationship. That, coupled with knowing that sooner or later u would have to endure the pain of watching a loved one die. Oh gosh! Then there's the the aspect of friends and family passing judgment and ostrasising u...tough...




I agree with you there, one has to really asses their relationship, and see where they would or could go from there. This is what i would do after finding out the facts, as far as the ostracizing goes, both partners can keep there status to themselves and professionals are bounded by that 'confidentiality code', we know how that works in trini right ;). This is a very sensitive situation to find yourself in especially if you really love that person i guess.

[sapodila]

Leave him........cause most likely he would have gotten the virus because he was cheating.
What if he/she contracted the virus from a blood transfusion? What about those hospital workers who accidentally come into contact with infected bodily fluids and contract the virus? What does one do then?
Ah now see this thread and ah now coming in here to say the same thing Guy said. You know it have some real real cold fishes in this world yes! My job exposes me, my significant other and all our employees to diseases each and every day. Each morning I wake up and the last thing I do before going to bed, I pray that we are all protected, that we don't expose our families to our working conditions. There is no telling how many hundred times per day we wash and wash and wash our hands. Some of us refuses to eat until after having a shower and a change of clean clothing. This is very serious, many people and exposed to HIV/AIDS and the public should be a little more sensitive to the issues involving such.

[KFCSpicy]

Saps yuh wasting yuh time hun. People think that if a loved on has HIV/AIDS that they deserved to be abandoned yet strangely they claiming that they did love de person. Is like saying I love yuh only if yuh doh pose a small threat to me. Thank God I am privy to the mentality of a First world nation, you could work and have HIV or AIDS here and nobody does scorn yuh or bat an eyelash...believe me I have witnessed it for myself. At the end of the day people over here are learned and aware and they know the basics about the virus and neither the government nor the medical society here does use scaremongering tactics or even the media they dont report on any cases as if it's the latest political affray or murder toll.

I said it before and I will say it again, If I love someone, that means unconditionally so, If that someone has HIV or AIDS it have no way in hell I will abandon them. My choice cause if it was me I would not want to be scorned and abandoned and treated with scant courtesy or worse abject pity.

All the precautions in the world cyah stop yuh from getting sick if that is yuh fate in life so never think yuh immune people, never think "not me". Always think if it was me what would I feel or do or want from people.

[rivers]

Between you and your significant other, you find out that this person is indeed positive with the virus but you aren't. What would you do? :?:

RUN FOR ZEE HILLS!!!!

[peanut]

KFC, I think that is when your love for the person will be put to the test.

I WILL NOT ABANDON him in what would most likely be the most traumatic time of his life and when he needs my love and support most.

The fact is, HIV is not just spread through sexual intercourse. I, being A-Plastic Anemic, receive transfusions every 6-8 months, and it is possible I could get tainted blood. I hope I don't but it could happen, and I would also hope my significant other don't abandon me when I need him the most.

LIFEHATER ... GET YUHSELF EDUCATED ABOUT HIV AND AIDS!

[KFCSpicy]

What I think I am seeing here is the trivialising of the lives of others. This is also the reason for so much crime. No one respects the right to life of anyone else or the right to be treated like normal.

[cocoa]

I am not sure as to when the blood test was conducted, but here goes anyway. Here in the USA people who want to get married have to take a blood test. Only after the results of the test is received then the marriage is performed, providing that both tests are negative. Only if one (the significant other) comes back positive be sure the wedding will be canceled. So I think that this should be the norm in other countries, but then again that is only my opinion.

[KFCSpicy]

Cocoa first of all not all states have that policy. Second of all if the test comes back negative for one of the the two people then the marriage is not cancelled you and that person has to show the state whether or not you are going to become a burden to their health system. All yuh must read some more before all yuh put stuff like that up. If someone read that Cocoa they would be panicking and it's not even 100% accurate.

Grown adults should not be forced to take sexually transmitted tests if they don't want too. America does not care if the Human Rights Org complains about their practices cause it works for them. Just like with pollution. Anyways, Las Vegas is one of those states just google it hun and u would see.

[strombo23]

I'd be so paranoid.....I'd screen myself every month, for years, praying, hoping, worrying, that I don't test positive. I have to be honest and say that reading this thread and thinking of a scenario that she continued to have intercourse with me knowing she is (+). I can't help but reply that some non-life-threatening physical harm will be inflicked on her by me. Sorry guys. No one @#%&s with my life. I am surprised that no one mentioned a cut arse in their response.

[KFCSpicy]

^^^wow!

[cocoa]

Just really think about this guys, the person who you married infected you with the Aids virus. What is that saying? Number one, she/he betrayed your trust and in other words sentence you to a short life of pain and suffering with the obvious outcome,death. When you really think about that then you begin to see the sure reality, is this love that you can stick around and pretend that noting is wrong and be a bigger person and forgive?

[KFCSpicy]

Ummm so what if the person did not know? What if the person got it whilst working in a medical environment or from blood transfusion? But if the person does infect yuh well...sigh I eh know nah but it will take a huge humbling loving forgiving soul to deal with that situation day in and day out.

[strombo23]

In that case, you'll just have to accept it. It was not intentional. I think I can continue on in the relationship if this was the case. I can't begin to imagine the look on your family members face when you tell them. Would you tell your friends? There would definetly be a new urgency towards the rest of my life for me.

[dhal]

but lots of ppl who have HIV live long, successful lives because in this day and age there are endless drugs and other means of treatment available that allow ppl infected to live normal lives.

if u and your partner are both infected, i guess the bright side is that u all can have sex like normal...and y tell ppl that u have it? y not just keep it on the d/l and live like normal or with the expected new urgency? its all abt the stigma and ppl have to get over that one way or another....

[guyguy]

Ummm so what if the person did not know? What if the person got it whilst working in a medical environment or from blood transfusion? But if the person does infect yuh well...sigh I eh know nah but it will take a huge humbling loving forgiving soul to deal with that situation day in and day out.
Sweetheart,
If my wife of 31 years became infected at the hospital - she's a Cardiac Cath Lab nurse - there is no way that I'd leave her, even if she infected me. I remember making a promise in a church, in front of many people, and most importantly, in front of God - my God - that I'd remain with my wife in sickness and in health, for better of for worse .... blah ... blah ... blah ... and I intend to keep that promise. Now, if she wants to dump me at anytime, then that's HER decision [ah tink she tinkin' bout it oui] and I'll just have to live with that.

[KFCSpicy]

I agree Guyguy another reason why you are so high in my esteem. ;)

[sapodila]

Well said Guy! She no she man. The most she go do is put yuh in cat house :lol:

Hear this nah K.... today i working with dis young lady and she toking so damn much.... what ah catch she saying is dat " dis old woman have two old cats and they ( the cats ) have aids :? :shock: :o . My question " how de hell dem cats gets AIDS?"

[KFCSpicy]

Yuh need to stop right dey Saps. I jess eat eh! I eh want meh imagination to go overboard from how de cats get HIV/AIDS and how she know dat too? Lmao some people does amaze me with their lack of common sense on things. She is a doctor a Vet? what she is a Seer woman?

Steupse...yuh shouldah inject she wid some GramOxOne and spare de rest ah de world she diatribe. :evil:

[SilverEagle]

This is an amazing story.



I Married an HIV Positive Man
When opposites attract: the challenges of being in an HIV Serodiscordant relationship
By Rhea-Simone Auguste
Saturday, March 20th 2010
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Four years ago, Andre was rushed to the Port of Spain General Hospital following two sleepless nights battling with pain from an abscess. He was admitted to a ward but soon realised the nurses wouldn’t interact with him and the doctors barely checked on him. A friend working at the hospital came to see him and when he told her of his plight, she reviewed his file. That was when he first came to learn he was HIV positive.

He thought it was the end of the world. Although he routinely showed up to the Medical Research Foundation for counseling and medication, he felt as though he would never find someone to love him because of the stigma attached to the virus. Like many HIV positive people in society, his status is a well-guarded secret. Close friends and family were the only ones to whom he revealed his status. That was until he met Sharon*.

She is HIV negative. A beautiful woman in the prime of her life. She has a great sense of humour and she considers herself generally upbeat. After 4 months of dating Andre*, she learned of his status. Still, she continued in the relationship and last year, she walked down the aisle and confidently said ’I do’, pledging to love Andre* - in sickness and in health.

’When Andre first told me his status, I went through a range of emotions - shock, compassion and I would be lying if I did not say a little fear. Up until that point I had never met anyone who was HIV positive or at least anyone who would come out and tell me their status. Although I had my concerns, I found his status eventually didn’t matter to me. It does not define who he is. In my opinion, Andre is deserving of love and he is who I want to share my life with.

It is important for people to know their HIV status doesn’t change who they are. It doesn’t change your personality. It doesn’t have to be the focal point of your life. I had some fears about transmission but I think my compassion for him outweighed everything else. He’s normal. He’s a great guy and he’s everything I wanted in a partner,’ she shared.

Researchers and doctors use the term ’sero-discordant’ to describe couples where one individual is HIV-positive and the other is HIV-negative. And these couples are not as rare as you may think. In fact Dr. Courtenay Bartholomew (Medical Research Foundation) readily admitted that they see people in these relationships in Trinidad and Tobago.

Data from thebody.com (the foremost site on all matters pertaining to HIV), suggests that mixed couples generally live with fears about HIV transmission to the negative partner and concerns about maintaining a safe but satisfying sex life. Some lack support from family and friends, who often question why they’re getting into or continuing a relationship full of risks like HIV transmission, illness, dependency and death. Of course, illness, death and dependency can happen in any relationship, but somehow HIV makes them clearer.

Sharon admits that the challenges are indeed plentiful. ’There are many concerns - mainly sexual. Sex for us is more sensual - we do a lot more talking and cuddling. During intercourse we are always very, very careful and we always use condoms,’ she shared.

Having children is not on the couple’s agenda as Sharon said: ’We both have children from previous relationships and we were not looking to have anymore so that is not an immediate concern. But if we change our minds, we’ve learned there are ways to get around this problem like sperm washing so we are not as limited; the option is there.’

At a time when most people still cringe and cower every time they hear ’HIV’ or ’AIDS’, how did Sharon make the leap to being so open-minded about marrying an HIV-positive man? She explained: ’I have always been a spiritual person and it is my relationship with God that keeps me open to people and the human spirit. I’ve always believed that all people are equal in God’s eyes. We all come into the world the same way and then society dictates where you stand based on things like race, money or social status. I don’t look at those things. I look at people’s spirit - their character. I think that is why I can look past Andre’s status and see him for who he really is. As for support from friends and family, he has a strong network in place and I plan to lean on them when I need help and trust in God.’

’Patience and understanding is the key to making a relationship like this function but education is the key to making it work. Am I worried about him getting sick or dying? Sometimes. But we do all that we can to focus on keeping him healthy. I read a lot and I’m well informed so I think we’ll be okay.’Trinidad Express Link. (http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/print?id=161611458)

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[kayt]

If I'm in a relationship with someone who is loyal then I would not be so quick to leave them. Yes there would be issues and challenges but that is life.