Friendship...what exactly denotes a great/good friend?

[KFCSpicy]

This is just a tangent of Jenny's thread on friendship versus honesty.

Honesty is something that is taught, it's inherent in most people and it's, for some a basic choice or an easy one. For some there is no distinctions made between being honest or being dishonest. I think these people are called Amoral i.e. they have no sense of what's right or wrong.

But Friendship on the other hand should be something we all have basic knowledge in. Not every skin teeth is a laugh so why yuh feel dat u and Joan is best of friends cause all yuh does joke about together? Or go shopping together? or some fete?

I eh know nah but I have a friend who before she and I knew each other she was a school friend of another really good friend of mine and she slept with my friend's bf and said in her defence that our mutual friend didn't want the boy anyways so she slept with him. Our mutual friend said well she does have a point but she is still a slag for doing so.

Anyways, forgiven and forgotten life went on and up to this day all of us are in our 30's and no one really cares about the incident.

So my question is, what is a true friend? Are you someone's true friend? and if you do think so what makes you a realllllllll good friend? What makes a person an acquaintance/colleague for life or just "yeah I know she but not to talk to much" kinda person. Why do we keep these people around us? What purpose do they serve if any?

I have several stages of friends and the top most level consists of my sister, my best friend karen, and my other realllllllllllllllly good friend Nicole (to whom I doh talk to) :? . Everybody else is just liming padnahs, shopping padnahs, party padnahs, work colleagues, gym friends. If we not bonafide I eh even going in yuh house to hot it up much. I good. As we does say in Trini...meh Friend book full...try de pet book it might have a vacancy for yuh! :)

[serenity]

Friendships and defining them, as with any other human relationship, is not a simple thing as it is very subjective. I have had friends who referred to me as their best friend and yet I have never felt that way about anybody. I have friends for different aspects of my life and no one person is going to know everything or understand everything about me, so I dont expect that.

What makes somebody my friend? I dont think there's any set criteria. I guess we have to share some basic philosophies and interests. Its just something that may blossom or die down at any given point.

Some time last year I just cut a lot of ppl out of my life. They were good friends in the 13 years or so that I've known them, but ppl change. I changed. I would be fiercely loyal, but not blindly so. I could respect your choices but dont expect me to always support u in them.

I have a handful of friends and always open to new ones bec I generally like ppl. To me its just a matter of sharing your life with nice ppl and appreciating another person too. And it doesnt always have to be labelled 'friendship' or otherwise. There are ppl on the forum like Saps didi whom I never met but truly like; Huma who is extremely miserable, but sincere; even Falcon :shock: :D

[sheppy]

someone who looks out for you and has your best interest at heart, and is not clouded by their personal opinions/preferences.

someone who will disagree with you, and still respect your point of view.

someone that is there with a beer when times are good...and with a listening ear when times are bad.

[dancerboy]

KFC IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW 'A GOOD FRIEND' IS DEFINED YOU WILL ALWAYS BE 'MY GOOD FRIEND'. Having said that a good friend is one who will stick by you through 'thick and thin' (trini saying). He/she should be able to point out your shortcomings (OR VICE/VERSA) wtihout either party feeling offended. I will give you a litle window to my past. My first wife and i seperated on april 23rd 1972. Needless to say i turned to the bottle for comfort (a very stupid thing to do). Most of my friends(people who i thought were my friends) would be embarrassed by my drinking when we went out. They stopped hanging out with me, or if i got drunk in a party they will leave me to fend for myself. I had one friend who stood by me (through thick and thin). If he saw me with a drink, he would take it from me. He would invite me over whenever he had guests. He felt this was one way to keep an eye on me, and this would also prevent me from staying at home and drinking alone. (that usually leads alcoholism). I am proud to say i overcame that situation. I am not a teetotaler, but i drink very sparingly. My friend has since moved back to TRINIDAD. He worked in JAMAICA for many years. He is now retired and living in TRINIDAD,but is making plans to relocate to FT.LAUDERDALE. We still speak to each other regularly, and visit as often as we can.My wife is schedule to visit his family since she is in TRINIDAD. THAT'S A FRIEND. By the way, NEVER BE ASHAMED OF YOUR PAST, JUST DO NOT REPEAT IT.
DANCERBOY

[Solachica]

Different things...

I have 1 friend. :geek:

[KFCSpicy]

All of you sure seem to know what you demand from others...none of you alluded to my other question.... What kind of friend do you think you are?

Are you Sheppy all of those things you claim a good friend should be? Have you ever let anyone down knowingly or unknowingly and cared?

I have noticed that with friends as Seren said times change and so do people and then you need to do some Spring Cleaning in your friendbook. Sad but we all move on and no longer have things in common. I have friends whose parents like me more than them sometimes and I am always welcomed to stay over as long as I feel. I can drop in for a day and stay for a month kinda thing. But to tell you all the truth I think I give more than I recieve. I want loyalty cause I give it, I want a friend I can just be quiet around cause that indicates that person knows me and vice-versa. I want a laughing partner, someone who go bake de file in de cake and send it to Remand Yard for meh Ah want that God mother to meh kids and when I gone that person takes their role seriously. Karen is like that...she knows it and I know it and we have been through ups and downs. We annoy the hell out of each other but we get along famously and that's what's important to me. No judgements, loves me even when I am being a sh.t. That is a friend.

I try to do 110% for her always and it comes effortlessly for me cause without thinking of it we went from 9 years old to 34 years old and still love each other like two grown women who are friends should. She's my sister and back up and getaway driver.

[Ali]

A good friend never stabs you in the back.

A good friend stabs you from the front.

When your FRIEND sees you fall short he tells YOU in your face about it and NOT EVERYBODY ELSE!!! ;)

[serenity]

I cant answer if I'm a good friend. I think so. I'm always there when they need me. Maybe even too much so at times. One of the friends I cut off had gotten to the point where she was totally dependent on me. She'd call me to help her make the simplest decisions. It was draining. And there wasnt reciprocation. Now I keep ppl around who care enough that when I'm the one who needs to lean on them, they're there. I love my parents and my sis a lot though and I guess those are my closest friends, though its not everything I could discuss with them, they're my safety net.

[guyguy]

What kind of friend do you think you are?
I am a lousy friend. Ah doh want no frens. Dem does jess cause headache. So ah jess does take wat ah cud get an ah doh give bak ah blasted ting. Ah doh want tuh hear bout yuh problems; ah have meh own. Yuh want tuh come by meh house? Bring yuh own food an drinks - ah not givvin' yuh any; the fridge empty. Yuh get throw in jail? Doh call meh nuh! Ah not bailin' yuh owt. Yuh car break dong and yuh wettin' in de rain? Ah not leavin' meh nice comfy house an comin' tuh pik yuh op; take ah walk. Yuh brokes and de rent due? Ah doh have money tuh len yuh atall. Nex time, buy ah tent. Yuh lorse yuh job? Wat dat have tuh do wit me? eh? Yuh sik an in hospital? Ah doh have time tuh waste tuh come an see yuh. Frens does onlee take yuh buh doh bring yuh bak. Ent?

[KFCSpicy]

thank you Dancer :D

Guyguy yuh too darn bard....and ah know all that anti-fren ting is ole talk. So yuh safe from some planarse. ;)

[greall]

Spicy:

You remind me so much of my sister in Argentina and that's not a compliment as she's baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad... :lol:

I have few friends but more acquaintenances with main reason being that people cause too much of bacchanal which I can do without at present in my life.It's odd that my few friends are the ones who,at first,were people whom I either ignored or cursed.

I have one good friend who's on the forum here too somewhere and she's always been right about me.She can read me like a book and I can never seem to lie to her as much as I try to... :roll:

She been there for some of the real sh!t that's happened in the past and what's happening now.I've been there for her while she manages her insanity (read 'life'... :lol: ) even at 2am when she's on the phone harping about her bf and I'm drooling in my sleep with my face stuck to the pages of an economics textbook... :lol:

Greg

[KFCSpicy]

:mrgreen: I realllllllllll like yuh sister ahready :mrgreen: She wouldn't happen to be a Leo?

Any friend that can pretend to listen and sleep at the same time is valuable to me oui especially when all I want if for someone to lend meh their ears. Guys make the best friends for women sometimes I think. Most of my 2nd level best friends are men. I have tons of great men friends non judgemental and gots ya back once yuh asking them to buy yuh tampons from de drug store or anything suspicious like that they right there. :roll:

[Jenny]

I use the term friend too loosely. I also, sometime ago did some spring cleaning of my friend book....now its almost empty! As mentioned before people change.

I think I am a good person and can be relied on. On the other hand...I am not the type to upset anyone, so I would tend to avoid you if you asking me to do something that I dont want to do....its not a good way, but it avoids conflict in my life. I have more important things going on and if you want to be a crap person, dont do it with my time! Most people will get the hint and leave me alone after.