Why is it ppl dont respond to civility?

[serenity]

I dont understand it.
You treat ppl like ppl and they walk all over u.
Somebody else treat them like beast and they snap to it.
What the hell?!

I have been long warned about public servants - their lethargy and general ineptitude. But silly me with ideas of mutual respect and work ethic floating around in my head gone and try working with them. Well I guess the joke's on me.

I have even defended them on this very forum! But thats before my workload demanded that I delegate. Thats before I had to actually rely on them to the extent that if they screw up, my ass is grass.

But its not only work. I have noticed the same responses to beast behaviour vs civil behaviour in stores. Even at the grocery this weekend I had to wonder aloud (very loudly) how many hours customers were expected to wait before someone appears to assist u to take the goods to the car. It was only at that point did a boy hussle over to assist. This was AFTER I quietly confirmed with the cashier and then the floor manager who was standing nearby, that assistance was coming.

What is wrong with ppl? I feel I going to take a cussing course. Wajang 101

[Solachica]

Dont take it for granted tht people wud treat you same way tht you treat them...at the time time dont lower your standards.
We in T&T have no sorta customer is always right ethic. :roll:

[vaio]

aye.....not all public servants are like that.... :D ...but you do find it more in the public service...because there are no checks and balances in place.....

i does do like you....complain to a supervisor.... :twisted:

[sapodila]

Be proud that you have honest work ethics. Stand proud and be vocal! Don't be taken for granted. Make them 'farts' uncomfortable as can be. Get the job done rite the first time. Crack the whip if you have too and DON'T EVER KISS ARSE! Take pride in your self at all times!

[snowbird]

You've raised two very good points there; the first is when you are polite to people who are not used to that type of treatment how it could back-fire, and how bad customer service has now become the norm.
Recently a relative visited T&T after being away for a while and was struck by how rude people in the 'Customer Service Sector' were.
He related one instance in particular where he went into an establishment where two employees were having an obviously 'personal chat' while he waited to be served, to draw their attention to his needs he said.... "excuse me, I hate to interrupt you while you work" (being sarastic but not abusive, because it was their job to attend to the customers);anyway they both looked at him over their shoulders, both stupsed, then one slunters over to him, no apology, but made it clear by her body language ect that she was not pleased with him :roll:

Now I should add that the reason why he took this approach is because he has encountered bad customer service even over here, but until now it was always met by 'embarrssment' by the offending employee and an apology most of the time.

[serenity]

I just cant understand why some ppl only respond when u treat them like crap. When u buff them or treat them like they are worms on the ground, THEN u get cooperation. Its like they cant function without being abused!

I'm wondering if I stay here whether I 'll turn into a beast that treat ppl like crap. Bec thats the only thing that ppl seem to respect.

[snowbird]

I just cant understand why some ppl only respond when u treat them like crap. When u buff them or treat them like they are worms on the ground, THEN u get cooperation. Its like they cant function without being abused!

I'm wondering if I stay here whether I 'll turn into a beast that treat ppl like crap. Bec thats the only thing that ppl seem to respect.

If it's your makeup to be polite I don't think you're going to be able to change that, however if you live in a society who does not respond to politeness, all you may end up with is frustration from hearing ...... "what she playin, who she tink she is wid she uppity self", but as some have said "Be true to yourself"; trust me, you'll be very uncomfortable in someone else's skin. have you ever had an experience where you ended up saying ...... I can't believe I did that, or said that? Imagine trying to live your whole life with those reflections? eh eh.

[serenity]

U raise a good point there SB wrt the bad mouthing of the ppl that treat the staff like crap. They are deemed as 'hard-assed biatches', snobs (bec they wont even tell u good morning), beasts, etc. But at the end of the day, is treatment like that, that gets results.

Only ten mins ago I had to 'buff' one of the clerks, a man ten years older than me. A grown man with kids. It felt wierd bec I couldnt believe it had to reach this point. I didnt rant or rave but I was very firm about what will not be tolerated in the future. I am trying very hard to avoid taking out my stress on ppl. And to be reasonable. But for the life of me...

[snowbird]

Have you ever heard the saying ......"It's lonely at the top :lol: " No truer saying, however the first thing I am sure you learned in having subordinates is that you cannot be 'friend and boss' at the same time. Having said that the one thing I have learned is that while employees may not respect your 'hard arse' approach, they will respect your consistency, no body likes to work for a wishy-washy person; trust me,as tough as they make you out to be, at least they know exactly where they stand with you.
Bet you this man now knows exactly what is expected of him, and from the sounds of it, you are not demanding a standard that you yourself would live up to....... stay the course :lol:

[serenity]

Thanks for the advice SB. I think I'll spend some time this weekend re-evaluating the situation and figure out how to avoid similar crises in the future. My sanity depends on it. I wish I didnt have to depend on other ppl. Then if anything went wrong I know how and why and I can be comfortable taking the blame. Alas! Life isnt about what we want.

[snowbird]

Thanks for the advice SB. I think I'll spend some time this weekend re-evaluating the situation and figure out how to avoid similar crises in the future. My sanity depends on it. I wish I didnt have to depend on other ppl. Then if anything went wrong I know how and why and I can be comfortable taking the blame. Alas! Life isnt about what we want.

True, and what works for one may not necessarily work for another.

[sheppy]

Serenity....i'm a lil confused...are these people really your subordinates? how come you only now 'have cause' to delegate work to them? is it as a result of a recent promotion? or due to your work load you only now have cause to delegate.

Sounds like they just don't respect your authority. As for the response to civility...I would hazard that they just arn't accustommed to this. The management style of old (in public service especially) has (and maybe still is) the big stick rule. Most of these people (waiting on tenure to give dem a senior post) have become acustommed to being beaten to work.
-Attempting to use logic and appealing to their work ethic maybe will not work with some. Immediately. This is a cultural shift that must be learned, just as the big stick mgnt style was learned. For some...it may be too late...the old dog learning new tricks applies here.

Similarly, the harsh answer stirs up wrath and the soft answer turns away anger may not apply here.

I don't recommend you enrol in wajang 101, but taking on a management style change without effective support from top down can be near impossible.

Everyone is motivated by something....find that something (except cussin) and you may find your way on the road to some improvement.

[serenity]

Sheppy,
The nature of my job makes me something akin to a consultant. There is no one directly 'beneath' me in the hierarchy bec no one reports to me. Yet my position of itself is higher than theirs. The support staff report to their respective supervisors who may rein them in or not. I have to rely on report staff for document management basically. And in this business, the documents ARE the business.

Before now, I did as much of the work myself. So, if the procedure is that X would get the nec info to do something, and I found X was taking too long, I'd not bother with X and do it myself.

My workload has increased 100% now and expected to get worse. That in itself is not a problem. The problem starts when I have to rely on the relevant paties to pull their weight bec I cannot do it all anymore.

Some of it is minor stuff, like faxing documents to some other company or something. I am depending on u to fax it in time. Timing is very important sometimes bec it is part of your strategy. Ten days later I find out the doc wasnt faxed at all.

Complaining to my head is useless bec she starts to tell stories about what happened back in her day. :roll: So, some ppl choose to turn beast and be all business. Some ppl decide not to care. If things go wrong, its water off duck back. They just do the best they can and whatever happens happens. Others try to kill themselves out, coming in every weekend and staying back late every evening which means they're totally stressed out and burnt out and have no life.

I'm trying to find a way that works.

[kemist]

Every1 thinks they work too hard and are underpaid. With that attitude, it is not surprising that when some people do their job, they feel they doing you a favor and that you should be grateful to them.

[sheppy]

Ok ..think i understand your situation now....

basically you have to rely on people's good nature to provide the support that you require. (because basically if they don't report to you....they don't answer to you...which is just as good as a piss off)
Understandably you went about it as any rational person should, with civility and perhaps it came across as a favour and not a responsibility.

I suggest you come to some official arrangement with their line manager or senior where these subordinates are required to perform the duties you require. If there is an issue of substandard performance, introduce sanctions to curb them, or rewards for exceptional performance.

[serenity]

In all fairness, after ranting about govt workers for an entire thread, I just thought I'd come back and retract my generalisations that were made in haste and frustration.

Today I have had a wonderful experience with the guys who do the photocopying at work. They came in at around 6.30 this morning and there I was, with a stack of books and documents to be copied in time for me to be leave at 8 to be in sando for 9. I had initially only intended for them to show me how to use the new high tech copier (which staples and everything!) and I'd do it myself. But they put down their breakfast(es) and did the entire stack for me and even undertook to return the original books and documents to the library for me.

Everything was done perfectly. I know its only photocopying, but u cannot believe the million and one ways u could screw that up.

It was very touching and left me wondering what was their incentive for helping me out? So I asked. The answer? Bec I'm nice (to them). So, the good mornings and the friendly smiles and the occasional wave do count for something. And some ppl, actually do respond to being treated like ppl.

I've decided that education, ambition or even being a public servant have nothing to do with it. Its how u see yourself and what u want your work to say about u. It has to do with with how honest u are and true to your beliefs. They're simple guys. They're young, and their biggest concern is where they partying this weekend, but they take pride in their work and in themselves and dont stand for crap treatment. I know a couple dozen wanna-be professionals with ten letters behind their names who could learn a lot from them.

[sylvestter]

I dont understand it.
You treat ppl like ppl and they walk all over u.
Somebody else treat them like beast and they snap to it.
What the hell?!

I have been long warned about public servants - their lethargy and general ineptitude. But silly me with ideas of mutual respect and work ethic floating around in my head gone and try working with them. Well I guess the joke's on me.

I have even defended them on this very forum! But thats before my workload demanded that I delegate. Thats before I had to actually rely on them to the extent that if they screw up, my ass is grass.

But its not only work. I have noticed the same responses to beast behaviour vs civil behaviour in stores. Even at the grocery this weekend I had to wonder aloud (very loudly) how many hours customers were expected to wait before someone appears to assist u to take the goods to the car. It was only at that point did a boy hussle over to assist. This was AFTER I quietly confirmed with the cashier and then the floor manager who was standing nearby, that assistance was coming.

What is wrong with ppl? I feel I going to take a cussing course. Wajang 101

serenity - i think it's a psychological inferiority complex that they suffer from.

you are an upstart. you just reach in the dance, you young, you in a senior position to them, you making much more money than them, well to a$$ with you. you going to get attitude.

doh worry - you aren't the onl;y one who has to deal with that...

[kemist]

In all fairness, after ranting about govt workers for an entire thread, I just thought I'd come back and retract my generalisations that were made in haste and frustration.

Today I have had a wonderful experience with the guys who do the photocopying at work. They came in at around 6.30 this morning and there I was, with a stack of books and documents to be copied in time for me to be leave at 8 to be in sando for 9. I had initially only intended for them to show me how to use the new high tech copier (which staples and everything!) and I'd do it myself. But they put down their breakfast(es) and did the entire stack for me and even undertook to return the original books and documents to the library for me.

Everything was done perfectly. I know its only photocopying, but u cannot believe the million and one ways u could screw that up.

It was very touching and left me wondering what was their incentive for helping me out? So I asked. The answer? Bec I'm nice (to them). So, the good mornings and the friendly smiles and the occasional wave do count for something. And some ppl, actually do respond to being treated like ppl.

I've decided that education, ambition or even being a public servant have nothing to do with it. Its how u see yourself and what u want your work to say about u. It has to do with with how honest u are and true to your beliefs. They're simple guys. They're young, and their biggest concern is where they partying this weekend, but they take pride in their work and in themselves and dont stand for crap treatment. I know a couple dozen wanna-be professionals with ten letters behind their names who could learn a lot from them.


ummm were you wearing low cut blouse or a short skirt? :lol:

[serenity]

:lol:
Is that why YOU would help a woman Kemist?
For the record, I was wearing neither. On that day, a nun would have been showing more skin than I. :D

[sheppy]

LOL Serenity... u have leprosy? i cannot imagine what u were wearing to show less skin than a nun...(nor do i want to try to imagine)

congrats on your 'victory' but a word of caution. They are still treating their work as a favour to you. Being nice is great. But the fact is, they have to do the job whether they 'like' you or not. That is not professionalism, you now have to ensure you meet their 'standard' of treatment in order to get them to produce. This is a dangerous precedent.

[serenity]

It wasnt so much a victory as it was simply a positive experience.

They are always professional in their approach to work. What made this incident stand out was their work day dont start till 8am and they were willing to do what they did at 6.30am.

BTW, I was wearing an ankle-length skirt, long sleeved jacket and a collar that covers the neck and chest. So all that was showing was meh head and hands. :P

[guyguy]

It wasnt so much a victory as it was simply a positive experience.

They are always professional in their approach to work. What made this incident stand out was their work day dont start till 8am and they were willing to do what they did at 6.30am.

BTW, I was wearing an ankle-length skirt, long sleeved jacket and a collar that covers the neck and chest. So all that was showing was meh head and hands. :P
serenity,
Have you thought about bringing in a special treat for those workers as a show of appreciation. Maybe a dozen donuts, a cake, doh bake it eh, or something else. I'm sure it'll go a long way when you're in a jam again, plus, you'll gain their respect and admiration too.

[serenity]

serenity,
Have you thought about bringing in a special treat for those workers as a show of appreciation. Maybe a dozen donuts, a cake, doh bake it eh, or something else. I'm sure it'll go a long way when you're in a jam again, plus, you'll gain their respect and admiration too.

GuyGuy,
I thought about that. But there is a phenomenon among the typists that I do not wish to encourage in other departments. *sigh* U see, on other floors, typists are 'bribed' to give precedence to certain work. So, if me and u both have something urgent to do and there is only one typist, u bring her a brownie and ask nicely and my work gets pushed back to accommodate yours.
I dont want to give the impression that that is how I operate. And then what happens on the next ocassion that they go the extra mile and I neglect to thank them with a gift?
So, I've decided that I shall sincerely thank them. Full stop. When its Christmas time I'd probably get them a box of choclates for the good work done that year. It'll be more appropriate then. Until then...
But I'm so grateful for your concern and advice that I'll bake u meh orange cake special this weekend.

[Solachica]

Wht were they doing at work at 630am when they start at 8am? They came in to help you?
I am suspicious of some employees who go work so early. I've seen many of them go early to make personal calls or use copy machines.

The typists at an office I go to are so lazy and make so many mistakes so I've started doing my own typing when I can but it usually isn't often I have stuff to type so works out. Sometimes they act like tey doing you a favour by doing their job. One woman prints all kinda nonsense but when I go to print she wud be telling me to print in draft becos it saves ink. :roll:
The senior clerk in tht office doesn't have much control there.

For diwali, eid etc each office was given money by ministry. Certain people on staff do not take part in diwali or eid celebrations but wud partake in the emancipation day celebrations. And theb complain tht for diwali the did get more $$$ for tht celebration etc. It have so much division in tht office.

[vaio]

lol sola....its the same thing in here.....some of the CRAs come in here at 6.30am....i'd normally reach at 7am....one day i saw one of them copying a whole damn text book for her son......i asked here what she was doing and why....she said it was not a problem before and it shld not be a problem now.....she merrily continued her copying....

They do as little work as possible during the day...but if yuh give them something to do....all you'd hear is...'so why she doh do it'....it drives me mad..sometimes i just do things myself...sigh.

[KFCSpicy]

I have no patience with rude, hognarant, lax and inefficient full of themselves people so when I get bad service I does bristle and get orn like a Broadway Bin collector. :evil:

Some people does only respond to two things in life...De words FCUK and their names. So sometimes taking the sweet polite road doh always wuk in yuh favour but as soon as yuh act like a leggo beast they humbling grudgingly at yuh feet or doing yuh bidding.

I had to cuss and reeaaall raise my voice in the hospital yesterday, ah settah runaround and waiting whilst I watching people coming in for x-rays going in before me even though they came after me. :shock: I had to sternly talk to de receptionist wid she ghetto fab hairdo which I was dead set against. Cyah stand a badly dressed or coiffed hoochie. If yuh see how quick results was given. Why? Not because ah get on but mostly because the hospital is a business and they are a public oriented business and they have to always care about what the customers think and how their service affects us.

When yuh dealing with people who doh care no amount ah cussing go wuk yuh jess have to suck salt and wait on dem.