Cyber Bullies.... have you encountered any???

[snowbird]

Recently I happen to be looking at a TV program where the topic came around to this new phenomenon.... the Cyber Bully, that is supposedly someone who 'bullies' others via the 'world wide web'. In the case of one gentleman being interviewed, his story was he met this person through an 'online game sight'; I guess one thing led to another and he started being 'bullied by the loosing opponent; the bullying took the form of racist slurs, and threats against the man's family.

Having given that show some thought, I guess some of the extreme 'off topic' verbal jabs we see on this and other forums may be considered Cyber Bullying, No?

If no, have you ever encountered any other type of Cyber Bullying?

[Solachica]

How can one really be cyber bullied. You go take serious wht someone who doesnt even know you says abt u? :?
Like the gurl who killed herself over the comments on her myspace page.
Some people does take Online to seriously. :roll:

[Sumana]

I guess cyber bullying can be counted as the last incarnation of this forum when a group of girls took it upon themselves to constantly attack me on this forum and when they got pulled up for it, they went ona nother forum, and then formed their own forum where it continued. Actually up2 last week, they were asking around adn trying to dig up information on me... :lol: :roll:
Oh btw. I never met, spoke, interacted with them...Jealousy is a beeetchhhhhhhh

[Scorpio]

Sola is correct, if somebody does not know you, and you don't know them exept online, then it shouldn't matter what they say to you or about you in cyberspace.

If you chose to reveal who you are or you give out too much information about yourself, then you will take what is said about you personally.

So, if you don't want to be a victims of "cyber bullying" :roll: then be smart and just keep it annonymous in cyberspace.

[serenity]

Of course there can be such a thing as cyber bullies. And there are a few on this forum.
It isnt a matter of not caring what persons who dont know u personally say about u, but each person's comfort level expressing his opinion on an open forum. What if every time u posted something u were ridiculed?
What of those persons who claimed to be stalked even?
Its why there are rules on the forum, so that one peron or group of persons dont dominate or intimidate others ie cross the line.
The forum can be a reflection of a real community and the same way what strangers say about u may affect u in real life, the same applies online. Esp if, as in sumana's case, (or should I say as alledged by sumana since I wasnt there?) they ganged up on u and u become the unofficial talk of the community. And in this community where lots of ppl are frank about who they are or the identity of the person is known thanks to the grapevine, it can be even worse, bec it goes outside the forum.
To say that the perceived victims are thin skinned is not a valid excuse for bullying behaviour. Respect is paramount.

[Sumana]

Sola is correct, if somebody does not know you, and you don't know them exept online, then it shouldn't matter what they say to you or about you in cyberspace.

If you chose to reveal who you are or you give out too much information about yourself, then you will take what is said about you personally.

So, if you don't want to be a victims of "cyber bullying" :roll: then be smart and just keep it annonymous in cyberspace.


Well in my case I didn't have ne info out, these were just malicious little girls, don't mind they older than me who had nothing to do but sit down, spread rumours and bad talk me all over.
And I found about them trying to dig up info about me recently, because the person they tried to put to do it came back 'n told me.

[Scorpio]

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences, Sumana. I wasn't trying to minimise what you posted earlier, only you know what you went through, I don't think anyone would have liked that happen to them annonymous or not.

Serenity, if someone is so uncomfortable to express their opinion openly, they have the option of simply turning off the forum, or finding one that they are more comfortable with.

Having said that, I have to admit that I was shocked when I posted my first thread years ago at the kind of responses I got ! Most of the responses were downright rude, mean, and made me feel like I didn't have a right to post my opinion here. After that it literally took me months to post anything here again, at one time I would just come on ttol to read posts, but I got over it, and now I stand up for myself - I fight back when needed, apologise if I go too far sometimes, accept correction from certain people I respect here, but I never allow anyone to put me on the defensive for my opinion, especially if they are being rude and disrespectful about it !

I enjoy the forum, and I refuse to allow any bullies to spoil it for me.

[serenity]

Serenity, if someone is so uncomfortable to express their opinion openly, they have the option of simply turning off the forum, or finding one that they are more comfortable with.



Thats my point - why should they have to?
Why should someone have to leave a site bec of the obnoxious or overly aggressive behaviour of others?
Thats what bullyimg causes and therefore, as you yourself experienced, cyber bullying is a real phenomenon.

[Scorpio]

Serenity, in a perfect world, no one should have to leave a website because of "cyber bullying" but, let's be realistic, this is not the same as physically being stalked (an experience that I once had), it's not a helpless situation, if someone is really that uncomfortable, the problem is easily solved...they have the option to log off, or just be "read only" like I did at first.

I am by no means condoning obnoxious and overly aggressive online behaviour, but the internet is available to all kinds of people, a reflection of a real community as you correctly said, so you have to expect the bad with the good, at least you have the choice to turn off the bad here in cyberspace.

[peanut]

or buss some cyber cuss in dey bakside off left, right and center :D

[Scorpio]

Well pnut, that is what i do these days, in case you haven't noticed... :D

[vaio]

yes....there are some mean ppl online who try to attack you at every turn....however, i for one do not back down from a fight and like Pnut said..buss some cyber cuss...left right and centre....

no one is going to ridicule or intimidate me online... :twisted:

[sylvestter]

if there can be cyber-stalkers, there can definately be cyber-bullies. maybe the line between both is very very thin...

[Mivo]

I went on a forum lime after that lime the name calling and personal attacks started, I just ignored them. I noticed they attached others members eh so that was there trend

[snowbird]

Unfortunately like the real world bullies exist in Cyberspace and for the very same reason they do in the real world; these are people with very low self esteem who for what ever reason feel the only way they can prove their self worth is by trying to show that they are more 'powerful' or 'Superior' to others, their MO is to not only 'humiliate' others, but in some cases to also attract a following who will do the same. Because of the anonymity of cyberspace the Bully sometimes makes mistakes in choosing his/her victims and followers; in some cases I'm happy to say, it backfires.

I too can identify with being the target of a Cyber Bully, this was a case where the Bully who I encountered on a couple of forums first appeared to be very intellectual, and 'just joking' most of the time, but then when I became an unwitting victim. It was only then that it suddenly occurred to me that... 'this woman is really serious in her nastiness'.
It all came to a head when she once turned her venom on me, she took offence to a comment I made (I expanded on a joke some else originated). Even though I pm'd her to apologize for offending her (a few of us were involved in the joke, not sure ifa the others did), anyway she wouldn't let up. She first of all reminded me that she had the 'skills' to make my life (in other words hell), then proceeded to spam every thread I posted; I simply stated my case to her openly that time (but in some very strong but not abusive language)....... "that I didn't join that particular forum to engage in that type of interaction, I wasn't used to conducting myself in the manner she displayed, and as such, couldn't continue the dialogue" (or something to that effect); despite requests by the Administrators and other forumites to stay on that forum but just ignore her, I elected to leave the forum.

With the exception of Public Officials and people who represent them, I think it is in very poor taste 'attack for attack sake' just for the 'one upmanhship' result. which is all Cyber Bullying is.

[vaio]

SB...sad that you had to leave because of her...i say i'll leave when i damn well want to.... not becuase of some stupid ppl.

[Solachica]

:twisted: vaio so rite.
Thts why it have ignore options etc. :roll:

[vaio]

ah think i hearin somethin....but ah cyar see anything :D

[Scorpio]

SB, sorry to hear about that experience you had, just goes to show there are all kinds of ppl on these forums, you are quite right, sometimes these wouldbe bullies make mistakes in choosing their victims, just goes to show, you shouldn't take anyone for granted in cyberspace. ;)

[sapodila]

Ignore ignore ignore.....en't dat is what we does teach the kids. Let us practice de same ting!

[Solachica]

Ignore ignore ignore.....en't dat is what we does teach the kids. Let us practice de same ting!
Yea. But i feel some people like to read the comess and just wount use the ignore option and then still complain.
Is all kinda people around oui.

[KFCSpicy]

Unfortunately like the real world bullies exist in Cyberspace and for the very same reason they do in the real world; these are people with very low self esteem who for what ever reason feel the only way they can prove their self worth is by trying to show that they are more 'powerful' or 'Superior' to others, their MO is to not only 'humiliate' others, but in some cases to also attract a following who will do the same. Because of the anonymity of cyberspace the Bully sometimes makes mistakes in choosing his/her victims and followers; in some cases I'm happy to say, it backfires.

I too can identify with being the target of a Cyber Bully, this was a case where the Bully who I encountered on a couple of forums first appeared to be very intellectual, and 'just joking' most of the time, but then when I became an unwitting victim. It was only then that it suddenly occurred to me that... 'this woman is really serious in her nastiness'.
It all came to a head when she once turned her venom on me, she took offence to a comment I made (I expanded on a joke some else originated). Even though I pm'd her to apologize for offending her (a few of us were involved in the joke, not sure ifa the others did), anyway she wouldn't let up. She first of all reminded me that she had the 'skills' to make my life (in other words hell), then proceeded to spam every thread I posted; I simply stated my case to her openly that time (but in some very strong but not abusive language)....... "that I didn't join that particular forum to engage in that type of interaction, I wasn't used to conducting myself in the manner she displayed, and as such, couldn't continue the dialogue" (or something to that effect); despite requests by the Administrators and other forumites to stay on that forum but just ignore her, I elected to leave the forum.

With the exception of Public Officials and people who represent them, I think it is in very poor taste 'attack for attack sake' just for the 'one upmanhship' result. which is all Cyber Bullying is.

SB as usual you have hit the nail on the head somewhat with your statements highlighted in bold. As for me, a person with a short fuse, being on this forum has taught me not to rise to the bait anymore. I simply let the losers propogate themselves and thump themselves on their back for one upping me. I can name a few on here who constantly seek my posts out and attack them but I won't as it will be another pm from the ever polite Falcon.

The people who do this just take an instant dislike to you for whatever reasons are in their minute brains at the time. I think mostly it boils down to a simple thing. The sand box syndrome I call it. Most people like thinking they are popular because of whatever they do, they want to remain in the lime light at any cost. God help u if u steal their thunder or fans or any smidgen of attention away from them. God help u, if u disagree with them too. I especially admire those that try to hide their bitter warp distaste of others in articulately placed posts. To me it still shows them up as weak sad little people.

[peanut]

It goes without saying as everyone knows I encounter my fair share of cyber bullies. K, both you and SB are quite correct.

IMHO, they are mentally imbicillic, with a brain half the size of a peanut. They are void of any and all sense of logic. They are intimidated by those who are intellectually and mentally superior to them or seem to be. Bullying others are their way to trying to attract attention to themselves, for somewhere in their realm of inferiority, it makes them feel superior.

Sad and pathetic is what they are :!:

[snowbird]

While I agree that sometimes the best approach is to ignore the ignorant (stay in the conversation but do not respond to the Bully), I also know that one of the things that drives the Bully to continue is an audience; I on the other hand have never felt that the display of ignorant behaviour should be a spectator sport; most of the time I feel embarrassed for the person doing it which is why I probably just remove myself from the equation rather than remain as fodder.

Just getting back to the thread though, my feeling is if you do encounter a Cyber Bully the best thing would be to end the connection; after all it's not like he can dial you up and continue the abuse.

[Falcon]

While I agree that sometimes the best approach is to ignore the ignorant (stay in the conversation but do not respond to the Bully), I also know that one of the things that drives the Bully to continue is an audience; I on the other hand have never felt that the display of ignorant behaviour should be a spectator sport; most of the time I feel embarrassed for the person doing it which is why I probably just remove myself from the equation rather than remain as fodder.

Just getting back to the thread though, my feeling is if you do encounter a Cyber Bully the best thing would be to end the connection; after all it's not like he can dial you up and continue the abuse.
If only people approached things this way, we'd encounter so much less grief!

[KFCSpicy]

Wishful thinking Falcon. Even myself does have to cuss somebody before it snap in my mind hey... I can walk away from this as it takes two to tango. It's human to want to fight back but it's smarter to walk away.

[kemist]

There are lots of them on poker sites, using racial slurs, bad insulting language etc.
I just ignore them and dont even bother responding to that cwap or taking sides. If they are reported the gaming sites would take action.

[KFCSpicy]

If they are reported? :( wow

[snowbird]

There are lots of them on poker sites, using racial slurs, bad insulting language etc.
I just ignore them and dont even bother responding to that cwap or taking sides. If they are reported the gaming sites would take action.


In the program I viewed about the Cyber Bully, the 'victim' did report the threats to the local authorities, the FBI as well as the gaming site; however none of them were able to do anything about it, something to do with either jurisdiction or lack of laws to prosecute that type of crime (threats via cyberspace).

[kemist]

Poker sites seldom ban players, but i've HEARD of it happening. I KNOW they suspend repeat offenders, and they normally just give first timers a warning. I've heard of some poker sites that do nothing, but i dont play there anyway.
It must all depend on the gaming sites themselves and their policies.

[peanut]

Kemist, under the IT Act of 2000, people can be prosectuted for cyber crimes which includes stalking and harassment.

Jurisdiction is not an issue as the Country/State/County in which the person who is being stalked/harassed has jurisdiction, even if the offender lives in a different Country.

[KFCSpicy]

Poker sites seldom ban players, but i've HEARD of it happening. I KNOW they suspend repeat offenders, and they normally just give first timers a warning. I've heard of some poker sites that do nothing, but i dont play there anyway.
It must all depend on the gaming sites themselves and their policies.


Gee ya think? :roll:

[Chicabonita]

Of course there can be such a thing as cyber bullies. And there are a few on this forum.

Yes, every forum have them. Now having said that, if we carefully analyze the way they react to posts we will realize something is not very right "upstairs" with some of them :lol: Others are just plain bitter about life and others their lives must be quite boring. :lol: So instead to get all work out or "offended" maybe we should try our best to keep a good sense of humor and laugh at it? I am sure nothing annoys them so much. :lol:

[Randall]

It's rampant especially among teenagers in gaming situations but i think you can only be bullied if you allow yourself to be. Most people just ignore these kids.


Recently I happen to be looking at a TV program where the topic came around to this new phenomenon.... the Cyber Bully, that is supposedly someone who 'bullies' others via the 'world wide web'. In the case of one gentleman being interviewed, his story was he met this person through an 'online game sight'; I guess one thing led to another and he started being 'bullied by the loosing opponent; the bullying took the form of racist slurs, and threats against the man's family.

Having given that show some thought, I guess some of the extreme 'off topic' verbal jabs we see on this and other forums may be considered Cyber Bullying, No?

If no, have you ever encountered any other type of Cyber Bullying?

[Sumana]

Want to talk about cyber bullies? One of the very people posting in this thread has a blogspot account up with libellous and slanderous comments against me but wants to come in this thread and play holier than thou about cyber bullies

[BW]

Want to talk about cyber bullies? One of the very people posting in this thread has a blogspot account up with libellous and slanderous comments against me but wants to come in this thread and play holier than thou about cyber bullies

Post who it is, and give us a link to the blog. Come on, why should this person who allegedly committed such heinous acts have their identity protected?

[Sumana]

Don't worry it will be :)
I've also been provided with a list of everyone it was sent to :) I'm just about starting to calm down

[sylvestter]

Want to talk about cyber bullies? One of the very people posting in this thread has a blogspot account up with libellous and slanderous comments against me but wants to come in this thread and play holier than thou about cyber bullies

:shock:
how disturbing.
and juvenile...

the internet is evil.

[Sumana]

Want to talk about cyber bullies? One of the very people posting in this thread has a blogspot account up with libellous and slanderous comments against me but wants to come in this thread and play holier than thou about cyber bullies

:shock:
how disturbing.
and juvenile...

the internet is evil.


One would think juvenile eh, but the person is middle aged!!!

[sylvestter]

hmmm

i had a disturbing incident recently where someone impersonated me on a social networking website, and used information available on my employer's website (which unfortunately has a profile and a photo).

i got wind of it and got it removed but it took so much effort.

and i still don't understand what the point of that was.

people have problems...

[Sumana]

Dude, just be glad that that was all, compared to the kinds of things said about me on this blog.

[Chicabonita]

Sumana, that's just TERRIBLE. I hope when the person discovers that you know the truth and what they did was plain WRONG and HYPOCRITE (after replying to this thread) they will have the "balls" to REMOVE that blog and APOLOGIZE! :twisted: Middle aged? What a boring and bitter life that person must have! :x

[KFCSpicy]

I heard on the radio this weekend that Teachers are complaining the most about cyber bullying...the people doing the bullying are their students :o Licks gone so they have nuff time to cyber bully. Where the parents who should be monitoring their kids I always ask? :shock:

[vaio]

parents now don't have a clue as to what their kids do online...saw a docu...where some kids even killed themselves because of this... :?

[snowbird]

hmmm

i had a disturbing incident recently where someone impersonated me on a social networking website, and used information available on my employer's website (which unfortunately has a profile and a photo).

i got wind of it and got it removed but it took so much effort.

and i still don't understand what the point of that was.

people have problems...

Now we've entered into a whole different realm, that of 'identity theft' or at least 'impersonation' which is probably more what this action was.
While I have to admit the Internet is a wonderful device, like everything else, you really have to be guarded about what goes on line. I guess sometimes people forget that having your personal information on line (either put on by you, or by other sources) is akin to having a 'giant bill board' erected in every major country and city, with all of that information on it for all to see.

[peanut]

Sumana, that's just TERRIBLE. I hope when the person discovers that you know the truth and what they did was plain WRONG and HYPOCRITE (after replying to this thread) they will have the "balls" to REMOVE that blog and APOLOGIZE! :twisted: Middle aged? What a boring and bitter life that person must have! :x


Let me say this quite categorically .. that blog will never be removed because that person know they did me wrong, I just reciprocated!

[Chicabonita]

Peanut,if you know about the Internet you know it is not hard to remove at all. ;)


that blog will never be removed because that person know they did me wrong, I just reciprocated!

Wow, sad really taking into consideration the beautiful words you wrote about Christmas, not to mention your signature about Christ! :shock:

[peanut]

Peanut,if you know about the Internet you know it is not hard to remove at all. ;)


that blog will never be removed because that person know they did me wrong, I just reciprocated!

Wow, sad really taking into consideration the beautiful words you wrote about Christmas, not to mention your signature about Christ! :shock:

ha ha, I have raised 4 kids and I can smell manipulation a mile away. Nice try though ;)

So let me see, someone did me wrong, I reciprocated, and I should do what? Girl friend, I do not appease people, I live my life by my own dictates. I do not go out of my way to be nasty and vindictive or to do to anyone what she did to me. The fact that I have reciprocated meant I was pushed so hard it was necessary for me to push back.

She knows it, I know it, God knows it too and no playing of the innocent victim is going to change it. She can suck it up and get over it!

[snowbird]

AHEM !!!!


Now dat ah hav allyuh attention; ah realize some ah allyuh hav ah burning issue yuh wish tuh resolve, but can I ask dat yuh not 'mess up' every thread in so doing.

tank yuh


(whea de mods dem? :roll: )

[Naina]

As I stated this is not the place for the cyber life that some of you seem to think is reality take the drama out . I have zero tolerance for childlike & Impetuous behavior . STOP.

Snowbird please feel free to start another thread on what was an informative topic until it was hijacked. Hopefully some can learn from it .

Naina